Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight
by mysticmonkey86
Summary: When Rachel Berry competes in national's against The Dalton Academy Warblers, her life takes an unexpected turn.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N . This is a story I have been wanting to try out for a while. I hope a few people will stop and read it. Please, if you do, let me know what you think. The most rewarding thing about writing these stories is having your feedback. The story starts off at national's , I may add some actual Glee storylines in , I may not, I have the whole basis for the story already figured out, I just need to do the inbetweeny bits. I am always open to suggestions, and I reply back to everyone. Thank you for reading. Chapter 2 will hopefully be up tonight. **

**Chapter 1 - Nationals**

I stared at my reflection in the dressing room mirror and took a deep breath to steady my nerves. Tonight was the moment I had been waiting for. It had finally arrived. It was what I had prepared for all my life. It was the night of the Nationals, and we _had_ to win. We just had to. Not just because I was a bit of a perfectionist and had a strong desire to be the best at everything I turned my hand to, but because it was my last chance to impress the fearsome Carmen Tibideux. She was a dean at NYADA, and would be watching in the audience tonight. This was my last hope of getting in to the school of my dreams, and if I didn't….. Well, I couldn't think about that. I had everything pinned on this six-minute performance.

I tightened up my black hair bow, the movement making my long brown wavy hair bounce. I smoothed out my red halter neck dress, and made sure the thick black waist belt was straight . Tina had designed our dresses for the competition, just like she always did, and I couldn't help but admire her talent. I applied a coat of mascara over my thick lashes that framed nervous brown eyes as wide as saucers. I was not used to seeing fear in them. I turned away from the mirror, no longer wishing to look at the nervous wreck I had become, and sat down on the scruffy brown leather sofa in the corner of the dressing room.

My eyes scanned the room, taking everyone in. The guys all looked dapper in their black trousers and red long sleeved shirts, while the girls looked stunning in the dresses. Everyone looked as nervous as each other. Artie, who was always joking and mucking around, was ramming his wheelchair into the wall again and again. Puck walked over to him, telling him to stop because it was freaking everybody out.

It was ten minutes til show time, and Finn, the tall gangling quarterback who I had once had a relationship with walked over, plonking himself down on the sofa next to me.

"Hey. Break a leg."

He smiles at me lazily, it was that smile that had attracted me to him all those years ago. I look at him sadly.

"Two years ago when we were here, you told me you loved me."

He clears his throat, clearly feeling uncomfortable with the way the conversation had turned. All of a sudden , he had a remarkable interest in kicking the piece of frayed carpet next to him.

""I will always care about you Rachel. " He says softly, still looking down at his shoe. "I know you will blow them all away tonight. You deserve this more than anyone I know."

Despite my faint sadness at the memories from long ago, I smile at the sweet, loving boy who cared about everyone. His kind words touched me and I felt guilty about making him feel uncomfortable when we all moved on a long time ago.

"Thank you Finn. I didn't mean to make you feel….. awkward or anything. I was just reminiscing. You and Quinn are made for each other. I know how happy she makes you. "

It was true, Quinn, the pretty blonde head cheerleader did make him happy. And even though we had fought over the last few years, I now regarded her as one of my best friends.

His lazy smile returned to his face.

"You are a star. You get out there and wow them. See you after the show. "

With that, he gives me a friendly peck on the cheek and walks back over to Quinn , who was engaged in conversation with the other two cheerios, Brittany and Santana. He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her on the forehead, the gesture was so loving. I couldn't deny that even though I didn't want Finn anymore, I wanted the relationship he had with Quinn. I wanted somebody to look at me in the same way he did to her, I wanted somebody to hold me like that. But tonight, I wouldn't think about it. Tonight was about my hopes and dreams, they were either going to come crashing down, or I would be leaping high so I could grab them.

My heart started thudding with the usual pre-show nerves as the bell signalling we were up next went off in the dressing room. We all huddled in a circle together, wishing each other good luck before we made our way to the stage.

As I took my place centre stage and caught sight of Carmen sitting on the very front row, my heart rate accelerated even more. The huge beam of light blinded me as it shone on my eyes, letting the audience know I was the one to watch. The band started playing , and I took one last deep breath, trying not to take any notice of the fact that I was completely on my own for this first song.

'_**There were nights when the wind was so cold , that my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window. '**_

I belted out the notes like it was the last performance I would ever give. My life really did depend on it. I had to get it just right .

'_**There were days when the sun was so cruel, that all the tears turned to dust, and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever' **_

I knew that I could do justice to this song. Celine Dion was an idol of mine , and I knew every one of her songs by heart. Was it just me or was…. No… It really was. Carmen was _smiling!_ It spurred me on with the rest of the song, and I knew as I belted out the last line, that I had done myself proud. I couldn't have given it anymore.

"Ladies and Gentleman, The New Directions."

I beamed at the audience as the rest of the gang ran on stage and we nailed Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

By the end of our set, the crowd was rip-roaring loud , and we ran off stage hugging each other, some of us, including me , crying with happiness. This was us at our best, and I loved it when our team of misfits came together to put on a show like that.

We made our way to the few empty rows in the middle of the arena, ready to watch the last performance and our biggest competition of the night , The Dalton Academy Warblers. I doubted they would be as good as we were just were, the crowd was still applauding as we made our way to the seats, but I was a bit apprehensive . I had heard that these guys were good.

About 15 guys all walked on to the stage in perfect unison with each other. They were all polished, groomed and smiling . Their navy blue blazers with red trim and black trousers making them look smart and tailored.

The crowd cheered as they walked on, making me feel even more nervous. They were clearly known and liked in these competitions.

One of the guys stepped forward. He had a huge amount of gel plastering his shiny black hair down to his head, but god, he was hot. He walked with confidence, he had clearly done this a lot.

"We are The Dalton Academy Warblers. We hope you enjoy. "

His voice matched his looks , it was sexy. It was a shame he was probably gay. The audience clapped again, and The Warblers waited until the noise had died down before launching into an a capella version of Hey Soul Sister. Damn it. They were good. They were really good. I looked down the line of my fellow Glee club members, dismayed to find they were all staring open mouthed with how good the performance was. It did nothing to help my fears. We couldn't lose this. Not tonight.

The guy who had spoken was clearly the main singer. It wasn't hard to see why. His voice was breath-taking. He hit the high notes with ease, and just as easily crooned slow and sexy, while never sounding out of breath despite the energetic dance routine. Their song came to an end , and they were applauded just as loud as what we were. This is going to be a tight call, and they still had another song to do. I grabbed Brittany's hands and pushed them down, she was clapping for our rivals for goodness sake. I rolled my eyes and hissed at her to stop.

Yet again, The Warblers waited until the noise had died down, then the black haired guy walked to the middle of the stage. I stared at him , trying to figure him out. I would have loved to have someone like him in our Glee Club, Finn had gotten to be an amazing singer over the years, but he was still a bad dancer. This front man of The Warblers had it all, he could sing, dance and had oodles of charisma.

My breath caught as he looked directly at me, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile,he winked at me, then launched into Raise Your Glass. I fanned myself with my hand, I was feeling hot, I wasn't sure of it was that guy , or the nerves, but I needed to get out of here. I ran back to the dressing room, taking deep breaths as I went.

After about five minutes the rest of the gang joined me.

Puck strode up to me, a look of concern on his face.

"Hey, What's wrong? You can tell me. It is my responsibility as a hot jew to listen to another hot jews problems."

I blinked at him in confusion, Puck had barely spoken to me for the last three years, so his concern was startling .

"Did you not see how good they were Noah? What if we lose?"

I bite my bottom lip in concern, everyone crowds around me , grabbing me into a hug.

"You were amazing Rachel."

"We couldn't have done it without you."

"Everyone loved us because of you Rachel."

A tear escaped down my cheek as everybody , even Santana, showered me with hugs and compliments. They were right, We all gave it our best, and if that wasn't good enough, then what was?

The bell sounded again. It felt like my stomach was going to fall out as I realised the bell meant that the judges had already decided and we were to make our way to the stage. We filled up the stage silently , all of us too nervous to speak, or even reassure each other. I glanced across at The Warblers, I could see the black haired guy close up now, and he was even more good looking than I had first thought. His eyes were huge, and he had a sexy bit of stubble lining his jaw. I shivered as I imagined it grazing along my neck, prickling at my skin, making me feel hot and sweaty and…. Wait. What the hell was I doing? I was about to have the biggest moment of my life , and here I was fantasising about a cocky guy who was probably gay. Pull yourself together Berry!

I turned away from him, but not before I noticed the tiny smirk on his lips as he watched me. A smirk that suggested he knew what I was thinking. But that was impossible, wasn't it? I blushed, feeling my whole face turning red. It went an even deeper red when I heard him do a low chuckle, and looked back to find he was still staring at me.

The host walked to the front of the stage with a white envelope in his hand. I grabbed the hands either side of me, not realising they were Quinn's and Mikes, not caring. I just needed the support, and they did too, from the way they squeezed my hand back.

"Ladies and Gentleman, The winners of our Nationals has been decided. In the history of these events, never has a vote been so close. But I can confirm , that the winning team tonight are ….. The… "

My blood was rushing through my head, I felt like I would collapse at any moment. Please get on with it, I begged him in my head.

"Dalton Academy Warblers."

The arena erupted in cheers and applause. To my left side , I saw flashes of Navy and red jumping up and down with happiness, all high fiving one another .

To my right, everyone was still. We were all rooted to the spot. Everyone was silent . Until a loud sob could be heard in all the madness. I realised with a start it was me. I ran out , back to the dressing room and collapsed against the door, crying like I had never cried again.

I heard frantic knocking at the door.

"Go away." I shouted through the tears. "I just, I need to be alone right now. "

A brown envelope slid under the door, right next to where I was sitting. I wiped a tear from my face , glancing at it in confusion.

"See you in September Miss Berry."

I froze. The voice belonged to Carmen. I heard her footsteps echo down the corridor as she walked away, and I picked up the brown envelope with shaky hands , ripping it open , making a mess of the once neat envelope. .

_**Dear Rachel Berry,**_

_**We are delighted to accept you at NYADA**_

I didn't read anymore. I jumped up shrieking with joy. I got in, I was in! I couldn't believe it. I stopped , looking at the empty room and instantly feeling guilty for bailing on my friends. They were devastated about losing too, and me being the selfish fool I always was , hadn't even given them a second thought.

I wipe the smudged mascara from underneath my eyes, grinning at myself in the mirror. You made it Rachel.

I head out into the corridor , wanting to share my good news with everybody. I stop when I see a lone figure in a navy blue blazer with red trim making his way towards me. It's him. The cocky one with hot as hell stubble and huge eyes. Should I turn back? I very nearly did, but then I figured he had already seen me, and I would look strange if I bolted.

In no time at all, he is opposite me, staring at me with those striking eyes. I notice they are brown and hazel, and they are enough to turn anybody's legs to jelly.

I feel like I had better say something, because an awkward silence had already engulfed us, and my cheeks were yet again turning pink under his stare.

"Congratulations. You were really good up there"

They were hard words to say , but I meant it.

"I know we were. But you didn't seem to think so. You were the only one not clapping. In fact, If I remember correctly, you ran off half way through our set. Were my dashing good looks too much for you to handle?"

I snort, surprised at how big-headed he was, I was hoping it was just a stage presence he had , but it turned out he must be that way all the time.

"No, I ran away because I was repulsed actually. You are way too cocky for my liking. "

He grins, and takes a step closer to me, making me instantly take another step back.

"Ah. So that's what it was. The rumours must be true, Rachel Berry is fussy. I have never been called repulsive before . I am wounded. "

"How do you know my name?" I ask, deciding to ignore everything else he said.

He takes another step closer to me, making me yet again take a step back.

"Everybody at our school knows who you are Rachel. You are a legend in The Warblers. All of the gay guys want to become your best friend because you have a kooky wardrobe and know your show tunes. And all of us straight guys…."

He pauses , taking yet another step, but this time as I back away, my bare back hits the cold corridor wall. I wish I was wearing a jacket or something . The contact made me shiver.

His face was an inch from mine as he continued speaking.

"Well, we just want to fuck you. "

I gasp loudly. Did he really just say that? Despite my cheeks turning beet red, I summoned up the strength to look him in the eye and shove him away.

"Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?"

He shrugs his shoulders, not looking in the least bit bothered that I had just pushed him away.

"I'm Blaine Anderson. "

I sigh, annoyed by his irritating ways.

"I didn't actually want to know who you are, I just…. I … Ah. God, you are really annoying , you know that?"

"What have you got there?"

He nods, indicating the brown envelope in my right hand.

For some weird reason, I hide it behind my back, even though he has already seen it.

That was a mistake, he backs me up against the wall for a second time , pressing his body into me. I go to push him away again, only to remember that my hands are now trapped in between the wall and my back because I tried to hide the letter. One of his hands leans against the wall, while he just presses himself further against my body. I know it's wrong, but I had to admit, I enjoyed the feeling coursing through my body at his touch. With his other hand, he reaches around my back, never breaking eye contact. His hand skims down my back gently, making me shudder , his face inches closer to mine, until the tips of our noses are nearly touching.

Too distracted by his rugged sexiness, he snatches the letter out of my hand before I have the chance to react. Then he walks to the other wall, opening up my letter and reading it quietly to himself.

He grins at me, as I still stand against the wall, breathless from our little exchange.

"Impressive Rachel. Well done. This definitely means we should have a celebratory fuck. "

My mouth falls open in shock at how forward he is. Is it even normal for a guy of 18 to be so…. So…. Confident. And sexy. He was nothing like any of the other guys I had ever known. They all wanted it, sure, but they tried to keep it well hidden, at least to us girls.

" I, uh, I have to go find my friends. Go and find someone else for your uh, well … you know…. ."

My cheeks , still pink from before start turning red at the thought of saying the word fuck. It obviously didn't come as easy to me as it did to him.

"Aw. How cute. You can say it you know. Fuck. Sex . Shag. It's really not hard. But anyway, bad news sweetheart. Your friends have all left to go to the hotel already. That's why I came to find you. I thought we could walk back together. "

I start walking away, he was clearly insane.

"Why would I want to walk anywhere with you?"

He catches up with me easy, his arm dropping around my waist, pressing his fingertips into my skin, making me want to recoil and yet, get closer to him all at the same time.

"Why wouldn't you want to walk with me?"

I roll my eyes at his arrogance, trying to bat his arm away from me, it just makes him grip tighter.

"Besides , you don't have a choice baby. You may have declined my offer of having mad passionate sex, but I would still never make any girl walk to a hotel alone in the dark. "

I hated the way my body reacted whenever he made those vulgar remarks. It turned me on and I hated myself for it.

"It is five minutes away. I am sure I can make it without your help. "

"Maybe so, but like I said, you really don't have a choice in the matter. What's the worst that could happen?"

I stopped trying to remove his arm from my waist, resigned to the fact I had to put up with him until we got to the hotel. His words echoed in my brain.

What's the worst that could happen?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Told you the next chapter would be quick! Thank you so much to Gabbymadd22 for my first review. So glad you enjoyed it! I hope everyone else enjoys, please review and reccommend to other fanfic writers/readers if you are enjoying . **

**All the chapters should be up reasonably quick, as like I said before, I have the story, it is just a case of typing it up from my notes. **

**Enjoy and review :-D**

**Chapter 2 - Hotel**

As we stepped outside into the cold night air, I shivered. It had been a whirlwind night, with all the up's and down's finally catching up on me, I felt a bit shaky. Blaine, who still had a tight grip on my waist , noticed my shudder in the cold, and removed his arm, taking off his Warbler's blazer.

"I don't want to wear your stupid blazer."

He chuckled deeply as he put it around my shoulders anyway.

"Are you deaf or something? I don't want it."

As I tried to remove it, A strong arm draped itself across my shoulders. With the weight of his arm, I couldn't shift the blazer. I groaned in frustration. Whoever this guy was, he was infuriating. And yet, the arm was also comforting on this dark cold night. I did feel safe. Perhaps too safe.

"Tough luck . You are going to wear it. Just until we get to the hotel. Then I will gladly take it off you. And while I am at it, I will rip your dress off. With my teeth obviously. "

I roll my eyes .

"Why are you so rude? Does this seriously work on other girls? Because they are dumb if this is all it takes to get them into bed. "

He pulls me close to him as we cross the road, his grip on my shoulders becoming tighter, more protective, as if I am not capable of doing it myself or something. He smelt good, He had a vanilla and minty sort of scent to him. I couldn't tell if it was aftershave , or soap , but whatever it was , it was nice. Maybe it was his hair gel?

"All the other girls don't let me talk. They take one look at me and they literally jump into my bed. What can I say? I am a bit of a catch."

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, he is looking straight ahead, watching where we are going, but he is so self-assured as he talks that I want to punch him. Is it true? Does he really have girls throwing themselves at him?

"Yeah, a catch they throw straight back into the ocean with all the other sharks. "

He didn't look remotely hurt or offended by my comment, much to my dismay.

"Ah, that's where you are wrong. It is always me doing the throwing. I throw them back in the ocean right after I am done throwing them around the bedroom… Or kitchen …. Or street. "

Oh god, this man. I had really had enough of him now. His over-confidence was too much. I needed to get away from him.

"Yeah, sure. Right, I can see the hotel now, you can go. "

I had never been more relieved to see a building in my life. Just a few more seconds and I would be free of this…. This…. Jerk.

"Why would I go? We are both staying at the same hotel. So we have to go into the building together . I am room number 106 if you wanna come up for some fun later?"

We had reached the automatic doors of the hotel, and I took his blazer off my shoulders, slinging it at him. He turns to me, a mildly amused smile on his lips. But god, those lips were hot. They looked soft and red, I bet he was a great kisser. I blushed as I remembered my thoughts from earlier, As much as I hated myself for saying it, I wanted those lips all over my body. But I wouldn't ever let him know that.

"You, are disgusting. Go and find some other poor girl to get into bed. "

"Who said anything about a bed? I am quite happy with fucking you up against the wall, or on a table, I really don't mind where it happens, it's your choice Rachel. "

His forward comment had me blushing even more, I looked down at the ground, kicking at a loose stone on the sidewalk , as I tried _not _to imagine me up against the wall, breathless with delight as he pressed his naked body up against me.

"I know you are thinking about it . And your red cheeks turn me on. Because I know you want it. It is cute, but like, dirty cute."

My eyes darted up to his face at the words, he had a sexy glint in his eye which made my body turn to mush. OK , he really was sexy. His eyes were like a sea, they were swimming with life, songs, knowledge and dirty innuendo's.

"Get real. I would say it has been a pleasure to meet you, but it has been the worst fifteen minutes of my life. Give the rest of The Warblers my congratulations on winning tonight. Bye Blaine"

As I walk through the automatic doors, I hear him call after me.

"The offer still stands Rachel. Room 106 . I'll be waiting."

I hear that low chuckle again, then speed up my walking until I can't hear his voice anymore. I see Mercedes and Tina about to walk up the stairs, I check myself in at the lobby, then run to catch them up.

"Hey! Wait up."

They turn at my voice , surprised to see me running towards them. As I reach them, I grab them into a hug, my earlier feelings of guilt returning.

"I am so sorry for bailing on you guys. It was just stupid me being selfish again. I didn't even think of how you guys must be feeling."

They both return my hug and each grab a hand as we start our climb up the stairs.

"It's OK Rachel. We all know how devastated you must be. You had more riding on this than anyone. We are really sorry about NYADA and everything."

Mercedes could be stroppy sometimes when she wasn't getting enough solo's , but one thing she always was , was a friend. Her sweet words made me smile.I beamed as I held the brown envelope up in the air.

"What's that?" Tina asked , taking the envelope out of my hand. As she took the letter out and started reading, she shrieked , patting me on the back.

"Oh my god , Mercedes… quick , read this!"

I couldn't stop smiling as the girls passed the letter over , and Mercedes eyes widened as she read aloud.

"Rachel! This is amazing. It was all worth it. You got in! We are so happy for you."

"I wanted to tell the others, but it looks like they are all in their rooms already. Of course , I am beyond happy, but I still feel so bad about losing."

Tina and Mercedes come to a stop outside their room, They were sharing together. I had been lumped with Quinn, but she would be sneaking into Finn's room for the night anyway so it didn't matter. Mercedes rubs my arm in a friendly way.

"Don't feel bad , it's not your fault, the whole gang understood why you ran off. We thought your dreams had been crushed. Listen, we are all going to meet in the lobby tonight, Mr Schuster's fine with it, I think he is planning on sneaking off with Miss Pilsbury and he said as long as we don't drink and behave ourselves then we can stay up til whenever. So you can tell them all then. They are all going to be so happy for you! "

"That's a brilliant idea! I'm sure Noah won't stick to the no alcohol rule, but it sounds fun. I hope my news does cheer everyone up, I can't believe we lost to The Warblers. "

I groaned, gently placing my head on the wall next to me.

"The Warblers were good Rachel. At least we lost to some healthy competition. "

I glare at Tina.

"No, they were not good. They were average. And way too cocky. They need to be taken down a peg or two. "

"Well, we liked them, and so did the judges unfortunately. Look Rach, we are going to go and get out of these dresses now, we will meet you in the lobby, about 9:30?"

I nod as I grab them both into another hug, grateful to them that they were being so kind after I ran off in a strop.

"See you soon! "

I made my way to my room, noting that the room number was 210. I hadn't noticed the number earlier , but it meant I was far away from Blaine's room, which made me happy. I knocked on the door, hoping Quinn would be in there, I didn't have my key or anything on me.

She opened the door, looking fresh-faced and giggly in just her bra and knickers. She had always been comfortable in strutting around like this , so it didn't surprise me. She was the head cheerleader after all. However, what did surprise me , was Finn, laying on my bed , topless, motioning for Quinn to go back to him.

"Urgh. You guys. I know we have all moved on now, but I really don't feel comfortable with you doing it on my bed. Move Finn."

I glare at him as he laughs carelessly, standing up and grabbing his top.

"Sorry Rachel . We will see you in the lobby later yeah? Come on Quinn" He grabs her hand, leading her towards the door. "My room is free, Puck is downstairs chatting up one of the bar workers. "

I can't help but giggle as they tumble out of the room, kissing each other , the way love struck teenagers do. Quinn was still in just her underwear, which made me giggle more. I wish I had her guts sometimes.

I collapse on to the bed, clutching my letter, not daring to believe it is true. I stay in this position for half an hour, before I realise it is already 9:15 and I have to be downstairs soon. I grab a lightning quick shower, then a black v-neck tee-shirt , with black and white checked shorts and my black knee high boots. I tie my hair in a braid on the side, and taking a deep breath, I exit the room.

I run down the stairs , wanting to get it over with. Everyone might not be as kind as Mercedes and Tina were, I was feeling kind of nervous.

Everyone had already gathered in the lobby, I counted heads to make sure they were all here. I cleared my voice , and called to the room loudly.

"Excuse me everyone, can I talk to you all?"

Everyone turned to look at me, and I stood on one of the chairs to make me taller, even though one of the hotel staff was giving me daggers.

"I just wanted to say, well…. I …."

I clutched my envelope tightly, looking at their faces. No-one seemed angry. I hoped they would all be happy for me. Santana rolls her eyes.

"Get on with it dwarf. I's gots to get my sweet lady kisses on with Britt and you are wasting my time."

I frown at Santana, why was it , whenever I wanted to make one of my long, meaningful speeches, she cut me off rudely?

"OK , OK , What I wanted to say was, I am so sorry for being selfish earlier and running away. It felt like my whole world had just….."

I trail off, not sure where I was going with that sentence. Distraught didn't even begin to cover what I felt earlier.

I carry on, changing the tone of my speech into a happier one.

"Anyway, I was so proud of you all earlier. Being part of something really special, makes you special. I felt that With every bit of my being earlier. So well done. And by the way, I got into NYADA!"

I hold my letter up for all to see, screaming as Finn and Puck raced over , picking me up on their shoulders , carrying me across the room with everybody shouting congratulations.

When they set me down, Santana ran over to me , dragging a confused looking Brittany behind her.

"God, that outfit looks awful on you Berry. But, Well done."

She smiled at me while I shyly held my arms out for her to hug me, it wasn't really Santana's style to hug me or say a kind word to me for that matter, so I was very touched by her saying well done.

She hugged me, and I grinned over her shoulder as she whispered in my ear.

"I knew you could do it, dwarf. "

I giggled at her insult, Santana may have came across hard as nails on the outside, but on the inside, she was very loving and sweet. I was going to miss her so much when I went to NYADA, I hoped we would come back into each others lives someday.

"Thank you" I whisper back as I let her go.

"Are you OK Britt?"

I stare at the blonde girl in concern as she looks up at the fan-light on the ceiling of the lobby.

"Not really no." She answers, not taking her eyes of the light. " That thing is really freaking me out. I mean, is it a fan or a light? It looks bright, but It's making me feel cold. How am I supposed to deal with that? It's too confusing. "

I open my mouth to answer, then close it again, not quite knowing what to say. Santana shakes her head at me, mouthing at me not to say anything as she drags Brittany away, probably to get their lady kisses on.

Puck runs over to me with a glass of what looks suspiciously like white wine in his hand. I knew he would have found a way to bust some alcohol in.

"Congratulations Rachel. We are all super proud. Now let's get wasted to toast your good success."

I refuse to take the glass from him, crossing my arms over my chest in distaste.

"Thank you Noah. But no , no drink for me. Mr Schuster told us not to, it wouldn't be right."

Puck groans, forcing me to take the glass.

"Rachel, you may be a hot jew, like me, but you are so boring. Mr Schu is off drinking himself with that sweet piece of ass guidance counsellor. Now she is hot . I like the older ladies. " He smiles dreamily, then shakes his head as if to rid himself of the thought. "Anyway, all of us have been drinking, to help us get over the embarrassment of losing tonight. You should have a glass, it might take the edge off . Ah sweet, that hot bar chicks back. I am going to go all PuckCharm on her. How do I look. How are my arms?"

He flexed his muscles and kissed each bicep, which made me laugh. What a stupid thing to ask.

"Your arms are lovely Noah. Go have fun. "

He grins at me and runs off . More of the Glee club come up congratulating me while I sip at my wine. I had never liked the taste of alcohol, but I supposed one glass wouldn't hurt. I had to be sociable.

Suddenly, a loud cheer erupted in the room , everyone was clapping and whistling. I looked at the doors to see who or what had evoked this cheer, and groaned in annoyance as I saw Blaine Anderson being carried in the lobby on the shoulders of his team-mates, much the same as I was not even ten minutes ago.

They paraded him round the room while everyone congratulated him on helping The Warblers to victory. As soon as he was back on the floor, All my fellow Glee Club members were licking his ass , telling him how he had deserved to win. Mercedes and Tina were practically drooling at the sight of him.

I couldn't blame them. He looked delicious. He was wearing a white t- shirt , with a v neck giving me the slightest glimpse of dark chest hair, and light blue jeans. His arms looked strong and muscled, his skin tanned. But the reason he looked so jaw droppingly good , was his hair. I thought he was hot earlier , when it was all slicked back with gel. But he had obviously had a shower, and his black hair was full of rich bouncing curls. I wanted to run my fingers through the curls that were ever so slightly flopping over his forehead.

My breath caught as his huge eyes scanned the room, then settled on me. He ignored whoever was speaking to him and very slowly and seductively , licked his lips while not breaking eye contact with me. I don't know why he did it, or what he was hoping to achieve, but yet again, he had made me feel hot, and jelly like. I imagined his tongue slowly licking me over my naked body, as I writhed underneath him , moaning in pleasure, wanting more.

Damn it, what the hell was wrong with me? I had to stop thinking things like that, I didn't know where it had come from. Even though I had been in a relationship with Finn, We had never got _that _far. Now here I was , behaving like a slut. In my mind, anyway.

I panicked as I realised he was heading towards me, I couldn't face another battle with him, not tonight. I just wanted to go to bed to be honest. It had been a long day. I debated whether to walk away before he got to me. I decided it was the best idea , I gulped down the last of my drink, screwing my face up at the taste, gave a quick glance at Blaine who was in the middle of the room, still trying to get through the crowds, then I ran.

I really ran. I don't know why. I could have given anyone in the Olympics a run for their money. Literally. I ran breathless, up the two flights of stairs to my room.

"Shit, shit, shit." I muttered to myself. I had to go back down. I had forgotten my key again. I needed to ask Quinn if she had hers. I sunk down to the floor, my back up against the wall, panting hard. If I went back down, I would have to face _him _, and I couldn't deal with that. I had definitely had my fill of that man tonight. But if I stayed here , I could be here all night, Puck had been right when he said they were all fast getting drunk down there. I put my head in my hands , wondering what the hell I was going to do.

A loud clapping made me jump, and I stood up , knowing instantly who my audience was without even looking.

"Wow. You can really run. I could hardly keep up. Am I really that scary Rachel?"

His voice sounded sultry as he said the words, he was doing something to my insides that I couldn't even explain. He edged nearer to me, I didn't answer him as he closed the gap between us.

My breathing became faster, I couldn't seem to get enough air, either that, or I was still out of breath from running.

I obviously hadn't learnt from my earlier mistake as I backed away from him and found myself pressed up against the wall.

The corner of his mouth turns up into that sexy smile and he struck up the same pose as earlier, one hand leaning on the wall behind me, barricading me inbetween his arms. With his other hand , he traced a finger down my cheek, across my jaw line , before resting it on my lips so gently I could barely feel it.

His hot breath tickled my cheek and his eyes pooled with desire as he said in a low, husky voice.

"Well, well , well. We meet again."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N ...SO... Here is chapter three already! Thank you to Gabbymadd22 for the second amazing review, and sorry for the cliff hangers haha! To Taylena 4ever , thanks so much for your kind words, and hello AvidReader! Thank you for the great review, I am so gald you enjoy my writing :-D Seriously guys, made my day. **

**To everybody else reading, please review, would be great. **

**The Next Chapter is going to be from Blaine's point of view. I will only do a couple of these throughout the story, but I think a few will be needed. Enjoy xxx**

**CHAPTER 3 - WHY?**

I quickly come to my senses and pushed him away, Hopefully he would get the message now, it was the second time in the same night, that had to be a hint.

"Stop hounding me."

My voice comes out shaky, I am trembling from…. Well, I couldn't be sure if it was nerves or lust. I didn't trust myself to speak anymore, I was half tempted to jump on him, half tempted to punch him. And yes, even though I had only had one glass of wine, it had gone to my head, making me feel warm and fuzzy, and leaning more towards the ' I want to rip his clothes off' scenario. I fiddled with my braid nervously, I didn't want him to see that I was shaking.

His eyes, still wide and swimming with desire, didn't change as he said the next words.

"I never have to chase girls. You may as well give in if you want me to stop . Seriously, what is the worst that could happen?"

There was that question again. Why did he keep saying that?

"What's the worst that could happen? Hhmmm let's see shall we. I could end up losing my…." I quickly stopped, changing track immediately, he didn't have to know I was a virgin. " I could end up having sex with a complete and utter moron. And regret it for the rest of my life. Isn't that enough?"

"Come on Rachel, you don't have to pretend like you aren't a virgin, everything about you screams naïvety. And no-one has ever regretted a night with me, I can assure you of that."

He had been standing in the middle of the corridor, but he slowly walked over to the wall opposite me, leaning against it casually. He didn't know how sexy he looked just by leaning against a damn wall. No, wait, he probably did.

I shake my head in frustration.

"Ugh. You are so big-headed. You are nothing special. My words probably aren't sinking in because your curly hair is too thick for anything to get past, but I am NOT going to have sex with you. Tonight , or ever. "

My words seem to make him grin as he plays with the black watch on his left arm. I wished he would stop doing it, because it made me stare at his muscles, it made me want his strong arms to hold me, wrapping me up in their comfort and warmth.

"Listen, and I hope you listen carefully , If we don't fuck tonight, we will some other time. You can be certain of that. There is no other outcome I'm afraid. So we might as well just get it over with. "

The familiar pink tinge spreads on to my cheeks again, I didn't think I would ever get past his crudeness. And the words he had just said, he seemed so certain…. How could anyone be that matter of fact about something like that. I glance at my locked hotel, and figure I may as well try a different direction, maybe he would get bored with me and stop all this filthy talk.

"I'm locked out." I gesture to my door. "Why don't we go back to your room for a while? "

He blinks in surprise, obviously he was expecting some sort of rebuff or denial from his previous comment.

A slow, sexy smile spread across his face as he stopped slouching against the wall and stood up straight.

"I knew you would cave in. All girls do. Let's go. "

He starts walking down the corridor towards the first set of stairs, I walk fast , trying to keep pace with him.

"You do know we aren't going to…. Well, you know. I just want somewhere to stay until they have all finished getting wasted downstairs. "

He doesn't reply, he just shakes his head and laughs as we walk down the stairs together. After going down two more winding corridors, We arrive outside his room. He turns to me, his eyes full of seriousness.

"Right, should we start ramming each other against the wall out here , biting each others lips until they bleed then breathlessly stagger into the room while finishing off the job. Or do you want it the ordinary laying down on a bed routine. "

He made every single word sound hot. But I didn't let on.

He fumbles for the key in his jean pocket, while I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Your chat up lines really need some work. "

I snatch the key out of his hand, unlocking his door and walking in. I look around , impressed. His room was twice the size of mine, and it only had one bed. A huge four poster bed with a dark red silk duvet. I thought back to his earlier comments , trying to ignore the fact I was a little excited about being alone in a room with him.

"Are you not sharing with anyone?"

He shuts the door quietly , then walks to the bed, flopping down on it dramatically. He raises his arms above his head, leaning on them as a type of pillow. His white tee-shirt had risen up a bit , and I could see a trail of dark hairs leading down to his jeans. He looked hot, and it was tempting to jump on top of him, letting him have his way with me. But I pulled out a chair, a few inches away from the bed, trying my best to look at his face rather than his toned stomach.

"No. Of course not. I am a Dalton student. We are all rich. The school funds allow us to book any hotel we want for stuff like this, usually , we book a whole hotel out for the night, but this was the only place we could get this time. Like I would share a room."

He laughs, while staring up at the ceiling, as if it s the most absurd idea in the world to share a hotel room. McKinley had only just raised enough funds to get here , we had to hold bake sales and all sorts, and here was Blaine, rubbing his wealth and smugness in my face. I didn't really know how to add to that, so I changed subjects again. It was one of many talents, being a master of deflection.

"Oh. Well , good for you. Got any books in here?"

He props himself up on his elbow so he can see me better. A look of confusion on his face.

"Excuse me?"

I look at him as if he is slow, which to be honest, I was beginning to wonder about.

"Do you have any books? I won't be able to go back to my room until god knows when, and I am bored. So I may as well read something to pass the time."

He sits up on the bed completely now, shaking his head from side to side.

"Seriously? You want a book? You would rather read than have this?"

He gestures at his body, that arrogant smirk on his face again. I laugh loudly.

"Yes. I would rather read. You aren't so bad after all you know. You are quite funny. "

I carry on laughing, not really sure what I am laughing at. It makes him look even more confused. I think he thought I had lost my mind.

"Uh… What sort of book?"

I shrug my shoulders , trying to still my laughter, maybe it was the wine making me find everything funny.

"Anything."

He jumps off the bed, walking to the far corner of the room where he picks up a back pack in the same navy with red trim as his blazer. The words Dalton Academy were emblazoned on the front in big red letters. He brings the bag back over, then grinning at me, tips the contents on to the bed.

I shuffle my chair over so it is against the bed, and eye up the collection of books.

I am suitably impressed. Among a few first editions of classics such as Moby Dick and Pride and Prejudice, he has moderns greats such as Harry Potter and uh….. my eyes widen in disbelief as I grab the dark covered book.

"Fifty Shades? Really?"

He looks at the book in my hand and my shocked expression , and starts laughing.

"Yes really. It's a great read. Have you read it?"

I roll my eyes.

"Of course I have read it Blaine. I'm a girl. But it is pure smut. I only read it because everybody else was and I have this strange obsession to fit in and be liked. "

He looks at me curiously, I hadn't meant to say that much. Now I sounded like a complete loser. Not that it mattered. I didn't want to impress him. He was an ass. He had a great ass. Shit, why couldn't I snap out of this weird mood I was in? He takes the book from my hand , dropping it back onto the bed, while sitting down himself on the edge of it , our knees are almost touching. I shuffle my chair back a bit, uncomfortable with the close proximity.

"Well, seeing as we have both read it, we can try out some scenes from the book. "

He reaches over, running his hand up my bare leg , towards my shorts. The sensation makes my skin tingle and all my nerves react at once. I move his hand, cursing myself for wearing tiny shorts when I was in the same building as _him. _

"Yeah, isn't there a scene in the book where she slaps him then storms out?"

"No baby, you have it mixed up. There's a few times where he spanks her. Is that what you want to do? Are you going to let me be your Christian Grey?"

I snort in laughter.

"You are not sexy , rich, or charismatic enough I'm afraid. "

I check out his reaction to my comment, which just infuriates me. How did he never get offended by anything I said to him? His expression was completely neutral, like I hadn't even spoke.

"I am definitely rich enough. Should I bribe you with money? Will I get to fuck your brains out for the right price?"

I sigh. There he goes again with the dirty remarks.

"Yes Blaine, clearly, I sleep with people for money. You have finally nailed it. Hand it over"

I hold my hand out to him sarcastically waiting for pretend money. The weirdest thing about it was, I didn't even feel offended that he had just basically called me a prostitute. It was just him I guess. It was the way he was. I gasp as he grabs my hand, yanking me up to a standing position , crushing me into his body. I try to back away, but the chair I had just been sitting on was preventing me from moving, and his strong arms snaked around my waist, his thumbs gently rubbing patterns over the thin material of my shorts.

His eyes bore into mine as he raised my top ever so slightly. His hand felt soft and cold as he brushed it against my exposed skin, making me a gasp a little. He raised my top higher , slowly and carefully until the hem reached the bottom of my bra. I couldn't take my eyes away as he slowly looked down at my bare stomach, making me feel self-conscious. He smiled a little, then quick as flash, brought both hands up to the top of my shirt , and ripped , hard. The material was flimsy , I stared in disbelief as it ripped right down the middle, the sleeves hanging off my shoulders. He pulled the top down over my arms, so it fell to the floor in a ruined mess. My mind quickly went from thinking about my ruined top, to the fact I was now standing there in my bra. It wasn't even a nice bra. Just an ordinary every day black one. I look at him in shock as he stands there, no longer touching me, but so close I can feel the heat radiating off his body, a triumphant look on his face.

"Blaine" I squeal . "What the hell….."

His lips silence me. They crush into mine, and I gasp into his mouth. I didn't know what to do. I wanted so bad to kiss him back , but I also wanted to shove him away. Since I had already done that twice tonight, I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He smiled against my mouth , then cupped my face with one hand so he could kiss me deeper. The kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was urgent and passionate. Nothing about it was gentle, as he forced his tongue through my teeth so he could explore . He edged me back until my back hit the bedside table, then lifted me easily with one arm onto it, all the while keeping up his fast paced probing into my mouth.

His knee forced my legs apart, As much as I wanted to stop him, I gave in. He pressed into me , his lips becoming more urgent as I responded to him. My body seemed to be reacting of it's own accord. I had no power to stop.

I moaned with delight as he nibbled my ear, his hot sweet breath tickling me as he kisses along my jaw line, his sexy stubble scratching me as he goes. He sucks and bites slowly down my neck, Not long enough to leave a mark, but long enough to make my breathing become heavier and faster.

He traces light little kisses along my collar-bone , then to my other ear, where he repeated the pattern of biting, sucking, and soft gentle kisses . It was almost too much to take.

I lift the hem of his T-Shirt, eagerly wanting to see , feel his chest. He raised his arms to allow me to pull the top over and throw it down on the floor. I ran my fingers through the trails of dark chest hair, marvelling at how firm and toned his torso was. I wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him in closer to me, needing to feel his body against mine. I could feel the bulge in his jeans, rubbing up against me, making me wet. God, I wanted him so badly. I ran my hands down the sides of his perfect abdomen, snaking round to drag my nails down his back. He stifled a moan by biting my shoulder , his bulge becoming more prominent, pushing into me more.

I gasped with shock as he thrust his hips into me, the pressure sending me dizzy. It felt so good. One of my hands clawed at his back again, while the other grabbed his curls, pulling him towards me for another kiss. I whimpered with pleasure as he thrust his hips, grinding into me, while our tongues jostled for dominance.

He ran his hands down the length of my body, coming to a stop at the waist band of my shorts.

"I want you so fucking bad." He whispered in my ear , his breathing as fast as mine.

But his words made me freeze. I couldn't explain it. My whole body became still as a statue, while he continued kissing , reaching round to undo my bra.

He noticed my sudden withdrawal, and hesitated , his hand resting on my bra clasp.

"What's going on? " His voice was husky, full of need.

I shake my head, suddenly needing to be out of there. What the hell was I doing? I slip down off the table, pushing him out the way so I can get past. He mis-reads the signs, grabbing my hand , trying to pull me down on the bed.

I struggle to stay upright as he pulls at me, I know if I end up on that bed, there is no going back. I will lose my virginity to _him. _Blaine Anderson who shagged around and had a head so big it was a wonder he could fit it through the door.

I take a deep breath.

"This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. I need to go. "

He drops my hand, his mouth open, staring at me with a mixture of fury and horniness.

"You have got to be kidding me?"

I fold my arms across my chest, trying to cover myself up as he stares at me from the bed. I felt embarrassed, ashamed. How could I have been so stupid to nearly do it with the resident male tart.

"Do I look like I'm laughing Blaine? "

I groan as I see my top on the floor, now split in half and completely ruined. I pick it up, wrapping it around my top half like a towel, trying not to stare at Blaine as he lay topless on the bed, still a bit breathless and sweaty, with a bulge in his tight jeans still clear to see.

I head towards the door, not sure whether to run or walk out gracefully, laugh or cry, everything was a confusing blur of nothingness right now. I wanted him so badly, I still felt the damp ache between my legs, yearning for him to be inside me. But I also knew that he was not worth it.

"Stop being a tease Rachel. Come back so we can finish the job off. You can't leave me half seen to. "

I reach for the door handle, my other hand still clutching my top around me as if my life depended on it.

I turn to face him, shrugging my shoulders in a dismissal way.

"Phone one of your many lady friends up. Use your hand. Suck your own dick. I don't care. Just do me a favour. Never, and I mean never, come near me again. "

With that, I yanked the door open hard , running down the corridor , back up my flight of stairs, knocking on the first Glee club members door I saw, hoping that someone, anyone , would be upstairs by now. Santana answered after a few moments, looking flustered and rosy-cheeked, and very annoyed at someone disturbing her peace. I remembered her and Britt leaving the lobby early and thanked my lucky stars they were up here. When she saw the state I was in , she ushered me into the room.

I put my head in my hands, letting my broken top fall down to the floor, but not caring.

"Uh… are you OK ? What's wrong?"

I start sobbing, tears falling freely down my face. I didn't know why I was so embarrassed or upset , I had a lucky escape after all.

Santana moved me over to the couch in the room, ordering me to sit . She rooted in her overnight bag, then chucked a top at me. I smile at her gratefully between the tears, aware of Brittany staring at me in confusion from the bed.

"I've … I've been so…so fucking stupid." I say as I pull the red sweater over my head.

Santana glances at Brittany, worry etched into her face. It actually made me feel a little better, maybe she really did like me after all.

"Wow dwarf, I have known you for years now and that is the first time you have dropped the f bomb. You must have screwed up big time. You can stay here and sleep it off, we will go to Britts room, stupid Mr Schu banned us from sharing because he didn't want any sex going on under his watch. They were his exact words. What a tool. "

I smile at Santana sadly, wiping my tears away with the sleeve of the jumper.

"Thanks Santana. I appreciate it. "

She pats my shoulder .

"Sure , don't worry about it. We will come and get you for breakfast tomorrow OK ?"

I nod , waving bye to Brittany as they walk towards the door.

"Oh, and one more thing. If you ruin my sweater, you are dead. I will feed you to a giant where you can join all your other dwarf friends in his belly. "

I try not to laugh, I had never realised before how funny her insults were. But I nod seriously.

"Right. Got it."

When they leave, I curl up into a ball on the bed and cry myself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Wow! Thanks for the amazing reviews guys , on both the stories! I haven't forgotten about Barely Breathing, I will be updating it within the next few days, I just wanted to get started with this one. Gabbymadd22 , glad you liked the Fifty shades ref! And AvidReader thank you! I thought it would be completely out of character for her to sleep with someone she barely knew. **

**Please keep reading and reviewing, it makes me smile every time I get one! **

**So... notes about this chapter. As I said last time, it is all from Blaine's POV. Just so you get an idea of what's going on in his head. He will become more likable over time. Next chapter is back to Rachel. Should be up pretty quick. Enjoy everybody :-D xxx**

**Chapter 4 - Blaine's world**

Blaine Anderson stared at himself in the dressing room mirror. This was his last night with The Dalton Academy Warblers where he had the chance to shine. His huge hazel brown eyes showed no fear for the performance that lay ahead. He was ready for it. He had been chosen for pretty much every solo in the last two years . If anything, he was bored. Bored of being the front man. There were other guys in the group, why couldn't some of them pick up the hard work for once?

He patted his black hair down, making sure it was smooth and slicked back. He didn't really like wearing the gel, but his hair was very unruly and the head of the warblers had demanded he slick it back for any show or performance. That would be something he wouldn't miss, although, it did seem to drive the girls wild.

They really seemed to fall for the polished look with the school boy blazer. He would keep the blazer after school finished in a few weeks. He didn't need any help with women, but it would come in handy anyway.

He jumped as Jeff, one of his fellow warblers , ran in the door gasping for breath.

"Blaine, get in the arena now. The new directions are about to take the stage, We need to see how good they are ."

Blaine sighed. He had heard rumours that they were a bunch of misfits from all walks of life , that had come together and could give a stunning show. They were the ones who could potentially steal the national's trophy tonight. But no, he wouldn't let that happen. He knew he could win this. He had already sweet talked the judges before the show had started. Luckily, all three were females in their 50's , and they screamed cougar. All he had to do was bat his eyes at them, telling them all how lovely they looked, and they were practically drooling. It was a shame none of them were younger, he could do with a good fuck after winning tonight. But they were staying at the nearest hotel for the night after the show like they usually did, and of course , he could bed one of the workers. There was always some dopey eyed girl , bored with her job and life, all it took was a smile from him, and they were his. He hated all the issue's after, what with all the texts and phonecallas and emails , but they got the hint eventually. None of the girls he had bedded had meant anything to him.

His first time had only happened just last year, she was some uni chick with a great ass and fake blonde extensions in her dried out hair. She used him for the night, then never spoke to him again. For the first week he was devastated. He thought the first time was meant to be special. But then he learnt not to care. He actually took inspiration from that night, and had done the same to every girl since.

"Uh… Earth to Blaine. Come on, Let's go. "

He jumped again at the sound of Jeff's voice, he had forgot he was here then followed him out to the arena . They made it to their seats just in time as a member of New Directions stepped out on to the stage. He squinted, trying to make out the tiny figure in the red dress. Suddenly, the strobe light beamed in her face and everybody could see her clearly. He knew who it was. Rachel Berry. Everybody at his school knew who she was. She had a rep for being a diva, not many people seemed to like her, in fact , from what he could make out, most people couldn't stand to be near her for longer than five minutes at a time. But the one thing they all said , was that she was talented. OK, Maybe that was understating it a bit, she was amazing , according to legend. Blaine looked down the row, giving his team mates a wink as the music started playing. They had all been talking about her the other day in practice, all of the gay guys adored her, and wanted to be her best friend. The straight guys all agreed we would like to give her a good fuck. Maybe it would loosen her up a bit?

He listened to the song with interest. The rumours were right, she was amazing. The song was emotional, deep. She looked nervous throughout and kept glancing at somebody near the front row. As she sung, Blaine found himself staring at her legs. I mean, it wasn't his fault that her legs were so great, if she didn't want people staring then she should have worn tights or something. Despite her small stature, her legs were long and toned.

He started clapping with the crowd automatically, not even realising the song had finished. He had been too busy thinking about ripping her dress off to see what the rest of her body was like. It would be interesting to have sex with someone who was as talented as him. They would make a good match.

The next song flew by as the rest of the New Directions joined her, dancing around and singing their hearts out. He had to hand it to them, they were brilliant. Probably the most talented they had ever competed against. But The Warblers would be better.

Just five minutes later, it was the warblers turn. We filed on to the stage , launching into the routine we had been practicing every day for the last month. It went perfect, we couldn't have done it any better. The audience were roaring loudly, and by the end of that first song, we had it in the bag.

I caught Rachel Berry sitting in the audience, her face looking like she was at a funeral. She even stopped her team-mate clapping for us. It pissed me off, we all had the decency to clap for them, but as I was on stage , I had to be charm personified. I walked to the middle , giving her a huge wink before we launched into our next song. She ran off soon after that, probably not wanting to watch us because she knew there was a chance they might lose.

As we headed back on to the stage a little while later to get the results, I caught Rachel Berry staring at me. Full on staring. Her eyes were glued to my mouth , I couldn't help but smirk, I knew the drill by now with these girls, they all wanted me, and she was giving me that look. She was probably thinking about me fucking her right now, her cheeks had been growing redder by the second. Ha! She was definitely thinking about it. I started laughing. Girls could never hide it, most of them liked to pretend they were innocent and didn't even know what sex was, but in reality they had probably had a cock stuffed in their mouth a few hours ago. They were all the same. Now that wasn't a bad thought, Rachel on her knees with my cock in her mouth…

Suddenly, I was being pulled and slapped on the back while all the guys erupted in cheers. I hadn't even been listening. We had won! What a great way of finishing off the year. I jumped up and down with the rest of the gang, punching the air with glee. A huge sob pierced the air, I looked in alarm to see Berry running away, her team-mates all sadly looking after her.

I made my way over to the downtrodden looking group, shaking everyone by the hand. The Warblers were well known for their manners and charm, it was one of the reasons we were so popular. The one in New Directions with the Mohawk started asking if they should go back to the hotel. A few of them argued, saying they couldn't just leave Rachel, but the tall awkward football player type of guy with the pretty blonde girlfriend suggested they should leave her to it. He said that she had a worse night than all of them and he knew she would want to be alone for a bit. I wondered briefly what he meant by that, but then the thought left my head as I realised this could be a great chance for a quickie with Rachel. The other's wouldn't be hanging around her like a bad smell, and I could brag to everyone at Dalton about my latest conquest. I told the warblers to go back to the hotel and that I would be along shortly, then started heading in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Luckily, I didn't have to go banging on the doors to find her, she had just came out of one of the rooms, clutching a brown envelope. She looked like she had only just stopped crying, which was great news to me because girls were easy when they were emotional. I know I sounded like a dick, but it was a cruel world out there sometimes, and you had to take chances when you could. It wasn't my fault that girls were extra clingy and needy when they were upset, It was my job to make them have a little fun, that's all.

She stopped walking as we came level with one another in the corridor, eyeing me up suspiciously. I thought she was going to start yelling a me for crushing her dreams and winning or something, but she congratulated me instead. I couldn't stand two-faced people though, so I put her in her place by informing her that I knew she ran off while we were singing. I couldn't help asking if it was because my good looks were too hard to handle. She came back with a retort , something about me being repulsive and cocky , which just made me grin. I loved it when they played hard to get!

As we talk, I edge in closer to her, knowing that it would only be a matter of time before I fucked her. This game was too easy for me now, after years of being told how talented and good-looking I am, I was starting to believe my own hype. There was nothing wrong with being sure of yourself. Most girls found it a turn on.

As I am explaining how the warblers know who she is, she backs into the wall, trying to keep a distance between us. I edge closer again, letting her know exactly what the warblers wanted to do to her. Well, what I wanted to do to her. Her long wavy hair tumbled over her breasts, making me stare at them for just a minute. I would take her right now, right here if she let me.

She pushes me away, which just makes me hotter for her. Her hand is still clutching that brown envelope like her life depends on it, and after another game of cat and mouse, pushing her up against the wall and teasing her a bit more, I snatch the letter away.

My eyes widen as I read the letter. She had got an acceptance letter for NYADA. Why did she have it tonight? Ah, maybe she was trying to impress somebody tonight, that was why she kept looking at someone during her performance. Holy shit, you had to be talented to get into NYADA. I couldn't lie, I was impressed.

After a few more minutes of conversation, she grudgingly agrees to walk back to the hotel with me. I knew I treated women badly sometimes, but there was no way in hell I would let a girl walk the dark streets alone, especially someone as beautiful as Rachel. Wait? What the fuck? Did I seriously just call someone beautiful? Last time I called a girl beautiful , she fucked my virgin brains out and broke my heart. Well, I was heart-broken for a few days anyway.

The walk to the hotel is much the same as our conversation in the corridor. I put my blazer over her shoulders, she was clearly freezing. She tried to argue about it, I could see why people found her a bit annoying, but at the moment, I didn't care as long as I got to nail her tonight. She makes some remark about me being a shark in the ocean , I had lost interest in the conversation really, but some of her remarks did make me laugh. I had to hand it to her, she was quite witty.

As we get to the hotel, her cheeks start turning pink about some comment I had made. God , she was cute when she acted like that. I could tell she was thinking about what it would be like to have me thrusting in and out of her, but she tried to hide it. She was dirty cute.

She runs off into the hotel, pretending to be completely offended by my continuous offers of having a little fun. I laugh as I walk to my room, bumping into the red-headed waitress I had spent the night with last time I was here. I didn't even remember her name.

"Hey sexy. Heard you won again tonight?"

Her voice sounded husky, like she either smoked 50 a day or had a really bad cold. She strutted up to me, her lips making a duck face (did girls really think they looked good doing that) and her ass wiggling way too much behind her. She was like a cartoon character.

"Hey. Yeah, That's right."

She laughs, a loud piercing cackle, I stand there and scratch my head in confusion. Why did I sleep with her the first time round? There was nothing remotely appealing about her. Her blouse was nearly half way undone, her too small bra not managing to contain her fake tits, even if I had wanted her tonight, I had already seen what she had to offer. Everyone had, which made her instantly less attractive. I was tempted to throw my blazer over her as well, just to give her some self-respect back. What is she laughing at? I didn't say anything funny.

"So" She tugs on my tie, and now she was close up she reeked of smoke. " Are we going to … you know? Have a repeat of last time? "

I remove her hand , laughing and shaking my head.

"Not tonight . I have made other arrangements. "

I walk off , leaving the duck faced waitress glaring at me in anger. It was true, I did have other arrangements. Rachel Berry.

I chilled out in my room for a bit,, Rachel still filling my thoughts. I grabbed a shower to wash that awful gel out of my hair, then changed into a white tee and jeans. I made my way downstairs to the lobby, there was some kind of get together happening, the warblers wanted to see if they could hook up with any of the new directions lot. I got paraded round the room , everybody cheering and celebrating.

As two dorky girls from New Directions spoke to me , I caught a glimpse of Rachel, eyeballing me from the other side of the room. Fucking hell. I gulped, not quite sure what to make of the way my brain and balls just reacted. She looked incredible. And the worst thing is, she didn't have a clue just how hot she was. Her hair was in a chunky braid, dangling over her shoulder, and she had a tight back top on, emphasising what a great body she has. The black and white checked shorts she was wearing confirmed what I had suspected earlier, her legs were stunning. The knee-high boots and socks combo added to the cute but sexy look, and I knew in that instant, there was no other choice but to get her alone. I wanted her. I break off the conversation with the two girls, and start heading for Rachel's direction. To my surprise , she starts running. What the …? This was new to me , having to chase girls (literally chase them) , but it made things more exciting. I ran after her, only managing to suss out where she was headed by the sound of her footsteps, god , this girl was fast.

I hoped I would catch her before she disappeared into a room, I didn't know which one she was in, and I knew if I knocked on every door, she wouldn't let me in. I stopped in surprise, as I found her slumped on the floor, leaning against a door, her head in her hands. I started clapping.

"Wow. You can really run. I could hardly keep up. Am I really that scary Rachel?"

She stood up at my intrusion, looking at me warily.

I walked towards her, not deliberately trying to intimidate her, just because I felt drawn to her. She was my magnet tonight. I felt myself smiling as I reached up to touch her face. I wanted to touch her, her skin looked soft and welcoming.

"Well, well, well, we meet again."

I thought she was going to let me kiss her, but I should have realised by now that she really didn't make things easy. She pushed me away, leaving me feeling a bit gutted, I wasn't used to rejection.

After a few minutes of trying to persuade her to have sex with me , she caved in. Or so I thought. She suggested we go back to my room because she was locked out. I felt heat spreading in my jeans at the thought of finally getting to rip her clothes of. I hurried to my room , leaving her running to catch up with me. I felt like being nice once outside my room by offering her the choice of screwing up against the wall or on the bed. See, I could be a gentleman when I really wanted.

To my annoyance, she told me my chat up lines needed some work and snatched my key, marching into my room like she owned the place. After a boring conversation about how I wasn't sharing a room with anyone , she asked if I had any books. The question flummoxed me.

All the girls I had hooked up with in the past had no interest in anything other than me. They probably didn't even know what a book was. Now here was Rachel, asking to read a book in case she got bored. I went along with the conversation, I was an Avid Reader and always had a bunch of books in my bag , especially for nights I was away from home. It turned me on to think that the girl actually had a brain cell and could read.

I tip the books onto my bed, thinking how pretty she looked while she searched through them. Her eyes lit up when she saw a few of them. I watched her mouth drop as she picked up Fifty Shades, staring at me in disbelief. My belly swirls as she yaps on about how she has read it because she is a girl and blah blah blah, my mind focusing on all the little tricks we could do from that book. I laughed as she carried on talking about how I was disgusting and rude , she really was a funny girl.

With the combination of thinking about acting out Fifty Shades with Rachel, plus her shorts, I was starting to get hard. Her legs just looked so good. I reached my hand over , stroking my hand up her soft leg , not even aware that I was touching her, it was just an automatic reaction.

She moved my hand while saying something about slapping me and storming out, which just makes me talk about wanting to spank her. I was already turned on enough, I didn't really need to add to it by saying things like that. .

I make a joke asking if she will have sex with me for the right price , causing her to mutter sarcastically about being a prostitute and hold out her hand for the money. All I can think about is touching her. I wanted to feel her next to me, see her moaning in delight, screaming out my name as waves of an orgasm rippled through her.

I grab her hand, pulling her up with me . I was done with the games. I wanted her.

I pull her body close to mine, needing to feel her. She resisted , trying to move away, but the chair behind kept her next to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist , soothing patterns into her skin , trying to reassure her it was OK . It felt right to do this. Surely she could see that? I gazed into her eyes, wanting her to trust me. Her expression softened a little. I raised her top, wanting to take it off, I moved slowly at first, not wanting to scare her away from my touch, but as it inched up, showing more of her soft , toned stomach, my impatience grew. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of what was about to happen, and I ripped at her top, parting it all the way down the middle, it ripped surprisingly easy. Her eyes widened at what I had just done, I pushed the ruined top of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

"Blaine! What the hell…..?"

I didn't want to hear the rest. I dived for her mouth , kissing her urgently, hungrily. I felt her gasp against my mouth, she was as surprised as I was. I always avoided kissing the other girls I had been with, I mostly let them fawn all over me, not the other way round. It really was a case of quick fuck, minimal touching, see you later. . But I needed to kiss Rachel, there was something about her, something about the way she had made me chase her all night, she was different.

I smiled as she relaxed into the kiss, finally kissing me back. It felt good . She wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing her body even closer to mine. The bulge in my pants was becoming more uncomfortable by the second. I kissed her harder , lifting her on to the bedside dresser behind us. I parted her legs so I could stand between her, surprised when she put up no resistance. Her heavy breathing told me she was as into this as I was. I nibbled her ear, kissing her along her jaw line, sucking and biting her neck, I didn't want to leave a mark in case it freaked her out and she wanted to stop. Her moans of pleasure made me carry on, I couldn't have stopped even if my life was at stake . I needed this. Well no, I needed her. I felt her lift the bottom of my T-shirt, almost shyly, so I raised my arms , eager for her to take it off.

Once she did, she ran her fingers down my chest, her touch was gentle, maybe she wasn't like the other girls. Maybe she really didn't have a clue about any of this? I knew she was a virgin, she had made that clear in our first conversation, but I had thought she was just putting on a good act of being a prude. It made me want her more, her being so timid and not even realising how fucking sexy she was.

She moved her hands round to my back, dragging her nails down, hard. Oh shit, It felt amazing. I bit into her shoulder, trying to disguise the fact that she had made me lose control. I pushed my body into her, I felt dizzy with wanting her, It scared me to think that if she done that a few more times, I could easily come just from that, I hadn't been this turned on in a long time.

It was when she put her hand through my curls that really got me. It was such an intimate thing to do, As she tugged on my hair, I ran my hands down the length of her body.

"I want you so fucking bad " I whispered in her ear, breathless.

For some reason, she froze. Her whole body stiffened. I don't know what I had said that was wrong, but the mood had changed. I was desperate for her.

"What's going on?" I ask as she withdraws even more. She pushes me, and get's off the bedside dresser. Maybe she just wants a change of pace, I try to pull her on the bed with me but she was having none of it.

"This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. I need to go. "

I drop her hand like I had just been scolded. What was bad about this? Everything felt right. What the hell had changed in the last two minutes? Didn't she know that I needed her? Now she was just being evil.

"You have got to be kidding me?"

I really hoped she was, that she would just laugh and fall back into my arms so we could carry on.

"Do I look like I'm laughing Blaine?" She glares at me. Holy crap, she really was being serious.

I watched her as she picked up her ruined top, wrapping it round her beautiful body and head towards the door.

"Stop being a tease Rachel. Come back so we can finish the job off. You can't leave me half seen to. "

Surely she wasn't actually going to leave me? This had never happened before. What the fuck was I meant to do now?

"Phone one of your many lady friends up. Use your hand. Suck your own dick. I don't care. Just do me a favour. Never, and I mean never, come near me again. "

With that she walks out the door, and I hear her footsteps running down the corridor. I stare at the door open-mouthed, did that actually just happen? I punched the wall in anger. Who the hell did she think she was?

I knew one thing for sure. I couldn't do her the favour she so nicely asked for. Because what I had conveniently forgotten to tell her was that I would be seeing her very soon. A few days ago I had received my acceptance letter into NYADA , the school of my dreams. As I said earlier, only the very talented got into that place. And I would do whatever it took to clear up our unfinished business.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N OK GUYS , HERE IS CHAPTER 5! WARNING - THIS ONE WILL BE SLIGHTLY DEPRESSING! **

**AS FOR THE REVIEWS , I HONESTLY CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH. IT IS MAD THAT PEOPLE ARE READING THIS AND ENJOYING IT, AND BLAINE'S CHAPTER SEEMED TO BE A HIT, SO I WILL MAKE SURE TO DO SOME MORE FROM HIS POV IN THE FUTURE! **

**PLEASE KEEP READING AND REVIEWING, AND THANKS THANKS THANKS :-D XXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 5 – NYADA**

I stared at the intimidating building in front of me. There was no way I could do this. My hands shook as I clutched my bag tighter to my chest. I was no longer the same girl I had been three months ago. I didn't have the courage. I took a few deep breaths to pull myself together. I couldn't back out now. I had worked so hard to get here, and I couldn't throw it away. It was my first day at NYADA.

I pushed open the heavy brown door while other students pushed past me, giddy and excited about their first day at this amazing place. I should have felt that way. Instead, I wanted to throw up and scream.

I walk up to the reception desk, a burly middle-aged woman stared up at me in disgust that I had interrupted her very important job of filing her nails. I geared myself up to speak to her. I hadn't really spoken to anyone for months. I wasn't even sure if my voice still worked.

"H-Hi, Uh, I'm a new student here a-and, I … I don't really know where to go. "

The woman rolled her eyes at me, then wheeled her chair over towards the filing cabinet.

"Name?" She asked gruffly.

"Rachel Berry" I answer meekly, my voice quiet and timid.

She flicked through the draws, slamming them hard when she found the right paper. She handed it to me, not even looking at me. She was back to staring at her nails.

"That is your timetable and a map of the place. It will tell you where to go. "

I studied the timetable, my first lesson was dance class , and the room was located right at the other end of the building. I make my way there, keeping my head down, not daring to look at anyone.

I enter the vast classroom , Mirrors adorning every wall. I would have to make sure to avoid those, my reflection wasn't my best friend at the moment. I looked like a ghost of my former self, dark shadows under my eyes, hair tied up in a scruffy pony. I had even changed the way I dressed . Gone were the skirts and knee-high socks with chic blouses, they were replaced by baggy jumpers and jeans. I wanted to hide myself away, shut myself off from the world.

A stunning blonde woman entered my line of vision, she was wearing a black leotard and her legs went on forever. She stared at me , giving me a curious look.

"And who are you?"

I realised she was speaking to me, my cheeks went pink as I noticed the rest of the class were staring at me.

"Rachel Berry." I mutter as I stare at the ground.

"Oh. So you are the Rachel Berry are you? I done my research on all of my students , and I will be keeping an eye on you. If I catch a whiff of diva, I won't be happy. Don't think you are above the rest of us in here , you are back at the bottom now Berry. "

This makes me look up at her in surprise. What had I done to deserve that lecture? I had only been in the class for ten seconds.

"I …. I don't think I am better than anyone. I'm just here to learn. "

She stares down at me, her eyes full of loathing. Now I knew how Harry Potter felt when Snape kept getting on at him.

"You will call me Cassandra when you speak to me. And next time, you can wear the proper dance attire. Never enter my room again looking like that. "

She looks with distaste at my frayed white jumper and old fading skinny jeans. My cheeks turn red as the whole class continues to stare.

"I'm sorry Cassandra, I uh, I didn't get any memo about what to wear. "

"Every NYADA student was sent a book in July telling them what they would need for each lesson Berry. Are you above reading ? Did you think you could turn up and just do what you want? You are not in New Directions now, like I said , you are back at the bottom and you will need to fight _very _hard to even make it back to the middle, let alone the top. "

I shake my head, not understanding why she kept going on at me.

"Of course I am not above reading. It's just …." I close my eyes for a second, my throat feeling constricted. "I had a lot going on over summer, that's all. Besides, I didn't get the book. "

She glares at me.

"Well , well, well. I am already sensing the diva I have heard so much about. We were all busy over summer. You don't get a free pass. I don't want to hear any more excuses from you for the whole year , understood?"

I nod, staring down at the floor again.

"I have a class to teach. And you have some learning to do. "

The class was a nightmare. She picked me for everything , even though I was the only one not wearing the proper attire. She yelled at me to be faster , to be better, I nearly yelled back, but I kept it in. I knew I was here to reach my dreams. Except, It all seemed pointless now. As the bell went signifying the end of the lesson, I started to make my way out of the door when I accidentally stood on someone's foot. The guy gave me a shove in return.

"Watch it loser"

He walked out , laughing with one of his friends. I steadied my self against the wall, overwhelming panic setting in. I closed my eyes, resting my head against the cold brick wall. No matter how hard I tried to keep the memories away, they always turned up.

"_Watch it loser" Santana groaned as I spilt a few bits of popcorn out of the bowl onto her lap. _

_I apologised straight away, but she smiled , grabbing me in a huge hug. _

_We had become great friends since National's . I told her about the whole sorry episode with Blaine the next day, she laughed , telling me if a near hook up was all it took to get me upset, then I needed tougher skin. She also recommended I become a lesbian, but that if I so much as looked at Britt , she would ends me. It was two weeks since Nationals, and a week into our summer holiday. I had the whole glee club at mine for a little get together. My dad's were away on holiday and wouldn't be back for five days. I thought it was a great opportunity to get the gang together, because who knew how much we would be able to do this in future? We were all headed different directions. We were all destined to make our dreams come true. Life was good. _

_I looked round the living room smiling. Quinn was in Finns lap , Tina and Mercedes were sharing a joke on their phones, giggling like mad, Mike was teaching Brittany a new dance move while Santana who was sat next to me glared angrily at his hand on her waste. Sam was doing impressions to Ryder, Jacob and Marley who were all looking at him in confusion. Sugar , Joe and Wade were whispering to each other about something , and Puck was swigging beer from the bottles he had brought round. Everyone was having a great time being in each others company, I couldn't have wished for better friends. These guys would never know how much they meant to me. _

"_Hey Rachhhhh" Puck walks over to me, staggering a bit. How much had he drunk? "Can we put theeeee T.V on, I shagged a hot weather girl lasssst night, she told me to watch. "_

_I stare at him in disbelief. _

"_You want to watch the T.V because you had sex with a weather girl? "_

_He nods, his eyes looking blurry and bloodshot. I really did like Noah, but he had an issue with drinking and sleeping around. _

"_Go for it" I smile at him as he sits down on the floor , grabbing my remote and switching it on. _

_I whisper to Santana that I was off to get him some water , she nods at me, then asks Puck if the weather girl was hot. I walk to the kitchen smiling. My friends were nuts._

A loud bang startles me as Cassandra walks out of the class room, slamming the door behind her.

" What are you still doing here Berry?"

I stand up straight, my breathing returning to normal. I shrug my shoulders, I didn't really have an answer.

"Go and have your lunch. Get out of my sight. "

I nod and hurry away, looking at the map to figure out where the food hall was. I grab a tray, choosing a salad. I knew I wasn't going to eat it. I hadn't had an appetite for the last few months. I didn't know if I would ever feel hungry again. But I picked at it, managing a few slices of cucumber and a baby tomato.

I glanced around the food hall feeling more depressed than ever.

Everybody had already made friends. My cheeks flamed red when I realised I was the only one in the whole place who was sitting by myself. I started to feel paranoid. Everyone was staring at me, laughing about me. This was a really bad idea, I should never have come. Not when things were still so raw.

A huge howl of laughter made me look at the table at the far side of the room. A group of about 5 guys sat there all stuffing there faces with burger and chips . They were engaged in conversation, laughing and joking the way friends were supposed to. I glare at them as they talk and have fun. Didn't they know that my life was in pieces? A tall blonde guy who had been sitting down at the table stood up to return his empty tray, I gasped at what I saw.

Blaine Anderson sitting there, his hair looking curlier than ever, a huge smile on his face as he used hand gestures to explain a story to his friends. They all started howling with laughter again at whatever Blaine had said, one even bursting into applause. He looked like the cat that had got the cream. What the hell was he doing here? I never wanted to see him again. The tall blonde guy returns to the table, blocking Blaine from my view.

I returned my tray, plate still full of food, then rushed out of the food hall, angry at the thought of Blaine Anderson being here.

"Rachel! Hey! Come here."

"_Rachel Hey! come here"_

_I turn the tap off that had filled the glass for Pucks water. _

"Quickly Rach,_ get in here."_

_Why was Santana shouting me so urgently? I had only just left the room. If it was about the bloody popcorn again, I would scream. I hadn't meant to spill it on her , but the bowl was huge and no-one had helped me carry it. Anyway, she had hugged me, surely she didn't care about it. _

_I rush into the living room, and place the water down beside Puck who was already half snoring. I roll my eyes at Santana. _

"_How can anyone fall asleep that quick? I was only gone for 10 sec…."_

"_Rachel." She cuts me off, a serious look on her face. "Rachel honey , sit down. I don't want you to worry but…"_

_I sit down, my heart thudding. I don't think I had ever seen Santana look so concerned in all the time I had known her. _

"_But what?"_

_She shuffles in her seat uncomfortably and grabs one of my hands. Me and Santana had definitely gotten closer in the last two weeks but she was never touchy feely with anyone except Britt. I blinked at our hands together in confusion, then looked back at her as she took a deep breath. _

"_Where did you say your Dad's were going on holiday again?"_

"_Arizona. They are obsessed with The Grand Canyon. They try and go to the same place every year. Actually , I had a phone call from them this morning, they were going on a helicopter ride around it. God, they wouldn't stop yapping on about it and I had so much to do for you guys coming round , I had to hang up on them!"_

_I smile at Santana , bewildered why she asked about my Dad's holiday. _

_Her dark eyes flash with fear. What the…?_

"_Like I said honey, I don't want you to worry but , well, We just put on the TV as you know, and there has been some breaking news. There has been an accident. "_

_My heart thuds again, I really didn't see what this had to do with my Dad's . _

"_Urm…. Well what it is , is that uh… " _

"_Spit it out Santana" I snap angrily, almost shouting and waking Puck up in the process. Everyone turns to look at us. _

"_There has been a helicopter crash. Two helicopters collided mid-air, killing all 18 people on board both aircraft. "_

_Ice cold fear clutches my heart. My belly feels, well, I felt the need to vomit. Had I eaten something funny. Ouch, my head … it felt like it was going to explode. What was Santana saying again?_

_I search her face, certain she was messing with me. What a sick thing to do. _

" _Excuse me?"_

_She squeezed my hand , then pointed at the TV. I don't look at it, instead I stare at her , waiting for an answer. _

"_Should we call someone or…. Like I said , try not to worry will you, I mean, there are loads of those copters each day full of tourists…. It wouldn't be, it can't be your…" She stops , unable to say anything else. _

_I shrug my shoulders._

"_Of course we shouldn't call anyone. It's not my Dad's . They will phone me at 8. Just like they have done every night for the last few days. See, this is the first time they have left me by myself like this, they say I am old enough now I am a respectable NYADA girl, before they used to leave me with 'Aunty Glenda' except she is not really my aunty so I don't know why they done that and I never liked her anyway and she always smelt..."_

"_Rachel"_

_It was Quinn's voice this time, she had walked over and grabbed my other hand …. When did that happen?_

"_Sweetie, It's half10"_

_I close my eyes and shake my head. _

"_No it's not. You have always hated me Quinn. I have never done anything to you. You hate me. "_

"_No she doesn't , you are one of her best friends. Look Rachel, let's call someone yeah, just to make sure they are safe. Like Santana said, there are loads of those tours every day. It will be OK ."_

_It was Finn's friendly voice this time. I open my eyes, staring up at him as he smiled down at me kindly. _

_We all jump as the doorbell rings. I really needed to throw up now. But just because it was half 10 and my Dad's hadn't called , and just because I had someone at my door when everyone I knew was already here, and just because there had been 18 people killed in a helicopter crash where my Dad's were didn't mean anything. _

_I walk to the door, gasping for breath with each step. My legs felt like lead and everybody was staring at me. _

_I open it slowly , not daring to look up at the faces of the two men stood before me. I stare at their shoes._

"_Miss Berry?"_

_I nod, confirming that I am indeed Miss Berry. _

"_We are so sorry , but we have some bad news. Can we come in ?"_

_I open the door wide to allow them through , then shut it with a huge bang. The two police officers jump, and turn to stare at me. _

_I look into the eyes of the oldest man, with kind blue eyes and a greying beard. I felt it. I actually felt my heart break. It was like a clean rip. Life would never be the same again. I ask all the Glee kids to go, they file out silently , some patting me on the shoulder on the way out, some not even daring to look at me. _

_Then I listen to the police officers explain what I already knew._

_ My Dad's were dead._

Blaine catches up to me , slightly out of breath from the running. I had known it was him as soon as I heard my name called out.

"Remember when I told you that you had to be really talented to get into this place?"

I look at Blaine, my heart beating fast from the memories of that awful night almost three months ago.

He points to himself and smirks.

"Well, obviously I was right. You have to be really talented. "

I stare at him warily. He was wearing a dark green shirt with brown trousers and matching shoes. Now he was close up, I could see how handsome he was . He had gotten even better over the summer, his dark skin tanning even more .He had lost none of his cockiness over the summer.

"What do you want Blaine?"

I continue walking down the corridor, hoping if I walk fast enough , I will lose him. I had my singing class to get to, and I didn't want to be late for that. I had already made an enemy of one teacher today.

"I want you. We need to get this hardcore fuck out-of-the-way. You were gagging for it as much as I was, don't even try to pretend otherwise. "

Was this really happening? What the shitting hell had I done to deserve this? As if I hadn't had a bad enough year already.

"Get lost ."

He chuckles beside me, that same chuckle from that first night. It was really irritating.

"I can't get lost. You are holding a map."

I roll my eyes, then stop as I realise I had come to my class.

"Look, we are never going to happen. We weren't going to happen then, we aren't going to happen now, and we aren't going to happen in the future. You are in your element here. Look at all these gorgeous girls strutting the hall ways just waiting for an asshole like you to take them home. Go and find someone. But just leave me alone. I honestly don't want to talk to you Blaine. "

I walk into my class, sitting down on the nearest chair, taking a deep breath. That man infuriated me. If I wasn't careful, I was going to have a panic attack. They had become a firm part of my daily routine for the last three months. I will never forget the first one for as long as I live.

_Aunt Glenda arrived with suitcases galore and bloodshot eyes. She was an old school friend of my Dad's and I had always found her to be loud and over dramatic about everything. And coming from me , that was saying something. _

_It had been a week since my Dad's had been killed. Nothing felt like it was real. I couldn't wrap my head around the enormity of what had happened. I had only cried once, just after the police officers had left my house. _

_Aunt Glenda had arrived to help me through the funeral and stuff. Their bodies had been flown back, and they were buried together. As I watched my only family members being lowered into the ground, knowing that I would never hear their voice's again, see their faces, hear their laughter, I lost it. I broke down in front of the massive crowd of 500 people who had gathered . I don't just mean I started crying. I mean I literally tried to jump in the grave and pull the coffins up with my bare hands. Of course, people were holding me back, so I didn't have the chance to get in the grave. I was screaming at them , tears falling down my face. I was lashing out, trying to hit everyone who touched me, I was like a caged animal. I clawed at the ground, If I couldn't be next to the coffins in the grave, I would dig my way down. I hurled myself on the ground, my dress and hands becoming caked with soil and dirt as I hammered and scratched at the ground, many pairs of hands trying to pick me up and drag me away. I shouted that I hated them all. That I never wanted to see any of them again. _

_Then I went home with Auntie Glenda, locked myself in the bathroom , and sat on the edge of the bath. My heart was racing and my hands were sweaty. I took a deep lungfull of air, except I didn't , because there was no air. I tried again. Still no air. It was hot in here. I opened the tiny bathroom window, trying to breathe in the outside air. It didn't help either. I clutched my chest, there were shooting pains running up and down my body now. My heart felt like it would explode any moment. But not from sadness , like it had for the last week, but out of actual pain. Oh god. There was something really wrong with me. I would be joining my Dad's. I took great big breaths, still not getting any air, I didn't want to be here, but I didn't want to join my Dad's . I was young, But they shouldn't have left me. I wanted to see them, Tell them off for going on that fucking trip. Shit…. OK , I really was dying. _

_I curled up on the floor , waiting for death. I honestly thought I was going to die. I could have lied on that floor for 10 minutes or ten hours , I didn't know. It came as a complete surprise when I realised I was breathing again and the pains had stopped. I wasn't to know that I would get these attacks every single day from then on, sometimes even more than once a day. I read up about it. Panic attacks. It was no wonder really. _

_I had lost my two beloved Dad's , I had not spoken to anyone, the glee kids kept phoning and texting and calling round, but I didn't want to see any of them. I felt like I hated them all. And to top it all off , Auntie Glenda had kindly informed me that my Dad's had left a huge amount of debt behind , and that my family home I had grown up in would be taken. Repossessed. My 3 years at NYADA were the one thing my Dad's had paid off entirely,because they were so focused on helping me achieve my goal. That is why I had to go there in September , whether I liked it or not. I had no family, no friends, £5,000 of my own savings, and three years at NYADA to face. Life could be fucking miserable sometimes._

And here I was. Sitting at a school I so far hated , trying to hold it together and not have a panic attack in front of a class full of people. I had managed to rent out a simple dorm room with just a bed and a chest of drawers for £90 a week, and I had already started looking for a job.

I knew one thing for sure, and that was no matter how much I hated it, I had to do it for my Dad's . Paying for this place was probably the reason they had been left with so many other debts, and I would not fail them.

But as I saw Blaine walk towards me, pulling up a chair and plonking himself down, insanely grinning at me, I groaned.

Staying here was going to be easier said than done.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE CRAZY REVIEWS GUYS , THEY ARE BRILLIANT. REALLY MAKE MY DAY. THIS CHAPTER IS A BIT SLOW , BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE DRAMA IN EVERY SINGLE ONE! WILL UPDATE AGAIN WITHIN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO XXXX**

**Chapter 6 – Student life. **

"So, looks like we have a class exciting for you."

I scrape my chair across the floor, moving away from him. I had no idea why I bothered, he just followed me straight away.

"Give it up Blaine."

"You give it up. How long are we going to play this game Miss Berry? We just really need to get whatever this is out-of-the-way, so we can both move on. "

I stare at him coldly, his puppy dog eyes and soft curly hair were having a bit of an effect on me, but I barely registered it. I hadn't felt anything but sadness for the last few months. Sadness and anger. How could they have been stupid? Why couldn't they just have been normal Dad's who liked staying indoors with a cup of tea? Why did they have to rake up so much debt by giving me a stupid future that I didn't want and going back to the bloody grand canyon year after year. Why had they left me like this?

"Your silence suggests you are considering it. "

"Piss off."

"No need for that. Save the dirty talk for the bedroom baby. "

I turn to the front of the class as the teacher walks in. For the next two hours, the other students sing their hearts out, Blaine alternating between singing and giving me filthy chat up lines that I ignore.

When the bell rings for the end of the class , the teacher takes me to the side.

"I couldn't help but notice that you aren't singing. This is a singing class Rachel. This is NYADA. I will let it slide today , because everybody gets first day nerves , but it can't happen again. "

I nod sadly, then make my way out of the uni grounds. What the hell was I supposed to do? I really couldn't face participating in any of the classes. I was only here for my Dad's . And what good was that anyway? They weren't here to see me suffering. They had abandoned me.

"So…. Your place or mine?"

Blaine jumps out at me from behind a tree. He was acting like a serial killer now….

"Boy, you really don't take hints too great do you?"

"I have never had to take hints before. This is an unusual situation for me. "

I stuff my hands in my jeans pocket , staring straight ahead of me as I walked. My room was only five minutes away. Then I could shut myself off from the rest of the world. Well, until tomorrow.

"Well, it is your perfect chance to learn how to be rejected. We may go to the same uni as each other now, but I still want nothing to do with you."

He carries on walking beside me, not looking fazed by my constant rejections of him. He runs his hand through his curls and shrugs his shoulders.

"Sorry, but I'm not going anywhere."

That makes me stare at him. I know that he didn't mean it like _that_ and I know that he is only after one thing, but the thought of him staying around to bug me both excites and maddens me. Anyway, he would soon get bored once he realised I wasn't going to give him what he wanted.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a student here? You didn't mention one word about it that night."

My cheeks turn pink at the thought of what had happened with him . Even if we hadn't done the full deed, we sure got steamy together. It was hard not to think of it really. After what happened to my Dad's , I couldn't believe how upset I was that night. It all seemed so trivial now.

"I didn't feel the need to mention it. You should have figured it out. I am pretty awesome. It figures I would go to an awesome university. "

"Right. You are very modest as well. Anyone ever told you that?"

He grins at me, that half cocky , half sexy as hell grin.

"Nope, never heard that one. I mostly just get told how amazing I am, usually when I have my cock inside some girl. I turn into some sort of superhero when I fuck. You missed out big time baby. "

"Really? Are you serious? Those girls must have had bad experiences if they think you are amazing. We may not have done it, but we went far enough for me to know that you are shit. "

His face changes from the cocky grin to downright shock. His cheeks even start turning pink, it is the first time I have seen him react to my words and it makes me feel great. Of course he wasn't shit, I mean, I didn't have much to compare it to, but he was good. He would never find out that I thought that though, he didn't need his ego inflated anymore, he had plenty of other people to do that for him.

Before I know it, I am already back outside the dull building with my tiny little dorm room that I am to call home for the foreseeable future. My room was on the first floor , and the door to the main building was already open, so I walk in , not even giving a second thought to Blaine. He follows me up the stairs and down the grey corridor, I just can't make him disappear.

"Do you really think that? " His tone is quizzical , and a little hurt as I fumble for my keys in my bag.

I give him a filthy look, I was determined to make him go, why did he have to hound me all the time? I find my key, and open my door, dropping my bag onto my bed and pulling the brown blind down over my tiny window. The walls were yellowish, I think they had been cream or maybe even white at some point, the carpet was the same muddy brown as the blind, it really was a crappy little room.

I had left the door open on purpose, I didn't care if Blaine saw or not. I just didn't care about anything anymore.

I sit down on the bed and stare at him as he walks in , shutting the door behind him. He glances around the room with a look of distaste on his face.

"It doesn't matter what I think Blaine, You keep talking the talk about how all these other girls fall at your feet, so as long as they think you are great , what does it matter how I feel?"

He sits down on the carpet , facing me, stretching his legs out before him and looking at his shoes.

"It does matter."

His eyes lock with mine , and I take in his expression. He seems to be serious, sincere. I didn't have time in my life for his games. I stare at him, waiting for him to say something or leave.

He looks around my pitiful little room again, then back at me.

"Didn't have you pegged as the sort of girl who liked slumming it. Whatever happened to the diva Rachel Berry that everybody always talks about. "

I shrug my shoulders.

"Who cares? All I need is a bed and somewhere to put my clothes. "

His eyes narrow at my words.

"It seems like you don't care about anything at the moment. "

"Yep, that's right, I don't care about anything. Let me guess, my room offends you because you are in some 5 bedroomed castle or something, did Dalton pay for that as well? The amount of money they used to spend on you for competitions on hotels and stuff, it wouldn't surprise me. "

He does a low throaty chuckle .

"No actually , it's a 2 bedroomed house, and my parents paid for it. "

He smirks at me , happy that he put me right. I flinch at the word parents. I couldn't help it, it was still so raw.

"Are you OK ?"

"Not really, I want you to leave me alone."

He stands up , and just for a second , I think he is going to listen to me for once and leave. Instead , he paces round my tiny room, stopping at the open paper on top of my chest of draws.

"Why have you circled a load of jobs?"

I stay sitting on the bed, staring at the floor where he had just been sitting.

"Wow , you are slow. Usually , when people circle jobs, it means they are looking for a job. Oh wait, I'm sorry, you weren't to know that people actually had to work because your mummy and daddy are so rich. My mistake. "

He rolls his eyes, picking up the paper and comes to sit beside me on the bed.

"Have you applied for any of them?"

I nod.

"All of them. "

"Have you heard anything back?"

His voice is soft and gentle, it surprises me.

" Yeah, mostly they have all said they don't want to hire me. Maybe if I get really desperate, I will do the whole selling my body thing, I mean, you did call me a prostitute last time we were together so…."

I trail off , not sure where I was headed .

"Rachel. Don't. "

I glance at him, his eyes look sad, sad for me if I am not mistaken, he is staring at me with a funny look in his eyes. Oh my god, he feels sorry for me. Great.

"Uh, well…. My Dad is hiring at the moment but… it's probably not something you would want to do …. It's not your sort of job."

I raise my eyebrow.

"I just told you I will sell my body if I can't get work soon, I am pretty sure I will do anything. "

"He's looking for cleaners. "

"Awesome, where and when can I apply. "

He stares at me, I don't think he was expecting me to be quite so excited about it , but work was work.

"I really don't think this is your sort of thing Rachel, I shouldn't have said anything."

I sigh. This man was hard work.

"Don't be ridiculous, I need work, your Dad is hiring. Cleaning will be fine. "

"You don't understand. He owns a chain of lap dancing clubs. "

His cheeks turn pink and he picks at my frayed bed cover , not wanting to look me in the eye.

"So you would have to clean them, at night, before the club opens and once it's shut. It really isn't your thing. "

"Are you going to give me his number? Or am I going to have to steal it from you?"

Now it is his turn to sigh, and he grabs a pen from my bag, taking my hand and scribbling the number on my palm.

"Tell him I put you forward. If you really need a job that bad, and he knows that I had something to do with it, then you will get it. "

I smile at him, the first genuine smile I have done all day.

"Thank you." I say quietly.

"What's going on with you? Last time I saw you, you had an energy for life, you were a diva, but a _good _diva, your eyes sparkled. Now you , well, you have lost something. Something is missing. "

Oh, if only he knew. I had definitely lost something.

"And you can tell all that from meeting me once?"

"Of course I can. You were alive Rachel. You were living . You were passionate. Now, you are all…. I don't know. You are on a downer. You are even dressing different. You don't strike me as a jeans and jumper kind of girl. And your hair is a mess. "

I shoot him a filthy look. Wow, he really knew how to cheer a girl up.

"I'm not one of your tarts Blaine. You can't expect me to dress up in little skirts and next to nothing tops with my hair immaculately groomed just in case I bump into you. I didn't even know you would be at this stupid place. I am so sorry that my ugliness is causing you to feel uncomfortable, but you know where the door is, I have been trying to make you disappear since we met. "

He frowns, his nose crinkling in confusion.

"You've never looked more beautiful as you do right now."

The words came out in a rush. He looked as shocked as I felt. He stood up clearing his throat.

"Urm… well, I am going to go now so you get your own way . Ring my Dad and see what he's got for you. But I meant what I said before , I'm not going anywhere. At least not until I have made you feel great about yourself. "

I scowl at him.

" And you will feel great with my cock in….."

"Yes Blaine , I get the picture. Jeez. "

I walk over and open the door for him. As he walks out, he smiles at me broadly, and I must admit, my belly done a little somersault.

"See you tomorrow baby . "

"Yeah. Can't wait. "

I mutter sarcastically. His smile remains the same , despite my lack of enthusiasm.

"Thanks for the help with the whole job thing."

I look down at the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed about everything.

"No worries. You can repay me in kind. "

"Never going to happen. "

I slam the door , hard, wanting him to go away now. He would probably be OKish if he didn't make dirty remarks ALL the time.

An hour later , I nervously phone Blaine's Dad to see about the job. As soon as I mentioned Blaine's name, he told me I had it and to go to the club tomorrow at 7. I cringed when he said the name 'Lacy Lola's' . What a tacky name. And he owned a chain of them!

I went to bed early that night after rooting out an old leotard and jogging bottoms for the dance class tomorrow. Just like every night for the last few months, I ate a forkful of pasta before I threw the rest in the bin. Hunger never registered with me. Nothing did. But I had to admit, that night as I tried to fall asleep, there was one person edging thoughts of my Dad's away . Blaine Anderson.


	7. Chapter 7 - Work

**HERE IS CHAPTER SEVEN . THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWS. SO GLAD YOU ALL SEEM TO BE ENJOYING IT. THE RESPONSE TO THIS STORY HAS BEEN AMAZING . I 3 YOU ALL XXX**

**Chapter 7 – Work**

The next day at NYADA was much the same as the first. I put a bit more effort in this time, but my dance teacher Cassandra still hated me, I still got told off for not putting any passion into my singing, I still sat by myself at lunch and Blaine Anderson still kept making disgusting suggestions all through the day.

And to top it all off, I had to go and work at a lap dancing club tonight. It could have been worse though, I could have been an actual lap dancer rather than a cleaner.

When I get back to my room after a long day at NYADA , I have a look through my pitiful clothes collection. What did people wear to cleaning jobs? Blaine's Dad hadn't suggested anything , and my lack of clothes was making things more tricky than this needed to be. In the end, I settled for some black trousers that were years old, with a grey long-sleeved top and tied my hair back into a neat pony tail. I hoped he would at least give me an apron or something, I didn't want to ruin what clothes I did have with cleaning chemicals.

By 6 pm, I decided I had better eat some dinner, My eating habits were so bad at the moment and I was becoming skin and bone. But as hard as I tried to want to eat something, I could only manage a banana. I knew I would have to get it sorted out eventually , I couldn't eat nothing forever.

I decided to set off at about 6:40 , LacyLola's was about five blocks away, and I wanted to be there in good time. As I opened my front door, I gasped, jumping back in shock. Blaine Anderson was standing there, his hand raised to the door about to knock. He was wearing casual cut off jeans and a light sky blue shirt, his black curly hair looked shiny as ever and his giant hazel brown eyes shone. Simply put, he looked like a sex god. My belly gave a little flutter as I stared at him, my mouth open in shock.

"Blaine, Wha- What are you doing here? You scared me."

He does that sexy grin , the one I was fast becoming used to .

"I am here to walk you to your new job of course. "

He checks his black wrist watch.

"We do have time for a quickie, just so you know. "

I roll my eyes as I exit my small dorm room, shutting the door firmly behind me.

"Do you ever think of anything else? I don't need you walking me anywhere. I appreciate the help with getting me this job, but you are not needed now."

To my annoyance, he grabs my hand as we walk down the stairs .

"It doesn't matter what you say, I came here to walk you to the job, and I won't be leaving until you are safely at the venue."

I lift our interlocked hands up .

"Is the hand holding really necessary?"

"Yes" Is all he replies as we walk out into the chilly night air.

Silence engulfs us as we pass one block, then two. Eventually, he clears his throat.

"So, Are you ready for this?"

I look at him questioningly.

"I'm not afraid of hard work Blaine. I don't particularly want to do it, but we all have to do things we don't want right?"

He drops my hand, and runs his fingers slowly down my back , making me shiver. He stops when he gets to my waist, and grips on tighter, pulling me close to him.

"Right. But we can also do things that make us feel good. And I know that I can make you feel good baby. But you won't give me the chance. And the harder you pull away , the more I will chase you. It really is for your best interests if you come home with me tonight, we can do what we need to do, then we never have to see each other again. Well, except when we awkwardly bump into each other at NYADA of course. "

I sigh, this whole routine was getting a bit tired now.

"How romantic. Every girl wants a one night hook up and awkward meetings afterwards, you have sold it to me. "

I have to laugh as his entire face lights up , and he looks at me with a smile.

"Really?"

"No."

He huffs as we carry on walking, the fact that he still has his arm around my waist gives me butterflies, it feels really good. It's like the first time I met him, he may be a bit of a jerk , but he makes me feel safe.

Before I know it, we are already there. I look up at the building, a bright pink flashing sign advertising the club, I took a deep breath , then looked at Blaine.

"Thanks for walking me. See you tomorrow or something."

I figured I had to be polite, this job would never have existed without Blaine, and I was grateful because I needed the money.

"Don't worry about it. And yeah, I'll see you around. "

As he starts to walk back down the street, I lift my head high and get ready to push the door open. Just as I am about to walk through, I hear my name being called.

"Rachel."

I turn to find Blaine , who had ran back to me, his eyes full of concern. This was weird.

"Yes?"

He lifts his hand and runs a finger down my cheek, just like he did in the hotel that first night we met.

"Just… Just be careful OK ? Don't let my Dad talk you into anything you don't want to do. "

I stare at him , puzzled.

"It's a cleaning job Blaine, he is hardly going to make me work as one of the dancers. "

He flinched at my words, even though I have no idea why, and he rests his hands softly against my cheeks, staring into my eyes with an intensity I had never seen.

"Just be careful."

Then to my astonishment , he leans over and places a gentle kiss on my nose. His concerned eye's give me one last look, then he hurries off back down the street. I watch his fading figure go, now I was really confused. What was he laying at? Why was he so vulgar at times, and then like this? He was a hard guy to figure out.

I take another deep breath when I can no longer see Blaine, then push the door open , getting my first glimpse of Lacy Lola's .

All around me are girls dancing around pole's and stages , in nothing but tiny underwear, As it was only seven , there were no customers yet. I assumed the girls must be practicing or something. I tried to avert my eyes, and walked up to the huge bar situated at the back of the room, where a tall guy with light brown hair was polishing the glasses. He looked about my age, which surprised me as I thought the place would be crawling with men who were the same age as Blaine's dad.

"Sorry love , not open yet. Come back at nine. "

He starts stacking the polished glasses up behind the bar, turning away from me.

"Uh, actually , I am here about a job."

He swivels round , staring at me with horror.

"A job? I know just by looking at you that you won't fit in here. "

He leans closer to me , his voice almost a whisper so nobody hears.

"You don't seem like these other girls , you are too young for this. Go and find something better sweetheart. "

I smile , my cheeks turning red. Oh god, he thought I meant a lap dancing job. Great.

"Well thanks. But I am actually here for a cleaning job. I have an appointment with John Anderson. "

He laughs out loud, sounding relieved.

"Oh, Right, well…. Sorry about that. John's not here just yet, but he will be in about five minutes. He is stuck in traffic or something. " He holds his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Brody."

"Rachel Berry " I reply, shaking his hand.

"Can I get you something to drink? On the house of course. No alcohol though, sorry , I know you probably need one to calm your nerves but I am guessing you are not yet 21. "

I smile at him.

"An orange juice would be great thanks. I'm 18 . But you don't look 21 yourself and yet you are working behind a bar. "

He laughs as pops the lid of the little orange juice bottle and tips it into a glass filled with ice.

"Only just turned 21 a few months back. My step dad got me the job, John Anderson, the guy you will be seeing soon, he married my Mum three years ago. He has been promising me a job ever since I could remember , I snapped it up. I want to go travelling next year, so I wanted to get saving as soon as I could. "

I gape at him in surprise.

"So that means your step brother is Blaine?!"

His face clouds over at the mention of his name. His eyes become dark and hooded.

"Unfortunately. How do you know him? We may be related but I should warn you to stay far away from him and his waste of space brother Cooper. "

My blood runs cold at his tone. It was clear he hated them.

"Blaine goes to my Uni. I don't know his brother , he has never told me about his family. Well, I knew about his Dad, because he told me to phone here about the cleaning job, but I didn't realise he had any brothers. Why should I stay away from them?"

He gets distracted by somebody walking through the door , then shakes his head sadly.

"Never mind . Your appointments just turned up . "

John Anderson is a tall, intimidating man, his grey suit matches his grey eyes and grey hair, I couldn't see any trace of Blaine in him at all.

"You must be Rachel? I trust my stepson has been taking good care of you?"

Brody nods , and I smile.

"Yes, he has been very welcoming."

He smiles .

"Right, lets go through to the office shall we?"

I nod, following him to a room at the back of the building , giving Brody a quick wave as I went. The next few hours flew by as I was given my uniform and shown the ropes. John Anderson was friendly enough, but very boss like, and I made sure to do everything perfectly. The evening went well, and I knew that I would be able to do the work for however long I needed to. When the customers arrived , I was mainly allocated to the toilets and other rooms, but when I did have to go to a table and clean, the customers completely blanked me for the girl in front of them writhing around in a thong. Which was fine by me.

The only awkward moment came at the end of the night, when John Anderson came to tell me what a great job I had done. He also told me that I was very pretty and could have a great 'career' if I wanted to follow in the footsteps of the other girls. I gave him a firm no, which he accepted , then cheerfully waved me goodbye until tomorrow night.

I tried to find Brody to say bye to , but it seemed he had already left before me. I grabbed my bag and shivered as I stepped out into the cold night air. I kicked myself for not bringing a coat, I should have known it would have been a lot colder as the night wore on.

"Good job I brought a spare jacket."

I jumped at the sound of Blaine's voice . He was leaning against a lamppost and was holding a leather jacket out to me.

I took the jacket and wrapped it around me, I didn't want to argue about it as I really was cold.

"What are you doing here ?"

I start walking back in the direction of my room . He matches pace with me.

"Are you going to ask that every day ? Because it's going to get a little boring. "

I scowl at him.

"No, I am not going to ask you everyday. Because _you_ won't be here annoying me everyday . "

He rolls his eyes. We both seem to do that a lot in each others company.

"Jeez Rachel. Most girls would just be happy. "

"Yeah, well. I'm not most girls. "

He shakes his head and does a low throaty chuckle.

"You are right there. Never met a girl quite like you. "

His expression is soft and warm, it gives me a glimpse of the sweet side to him. I loved this side.

"Listen, it was me that pointed you towards the job, so I have to look after you now. You are not going to be walking the streets alone. "

I laugh.

"So, you are going to meet me every night, twice a night, just to walk me to my job? What's in it for you ? Because if you think this is going to make me fall into bed with you then you….."

He cuts me off by grabbing my arm and pulling me against him. I gasp as his lips crush into mine , kissing me softly but firmly. It makes me feel dizzy. I melt into his kiss, and as much as I don't want to , I feel myself relax as I kiss him back. He pulls away and cups my face , staring deep into my eyes.

"It's not about that anymore. You have no choice in the matter. And neither do I. I physically can't stay away from you. The only reason I didn't chase you over the summer is because I knew I would be seeing you here. This path Rachel, It has already been chosen for us. It's scaring me . "

I stare at him , dumbfounded. His voice didn't sound like his normal cocky tone, he sounded sincere , and yes, he did sound a little spooked. The intensity of his eyes are overwhelming. I can't look into them anymore. I don't need this. Not after everything that has happened with my Dad's.

I start walking again, this time in silence. He again walks by my side.

"So… Did you have a good night?"

His voice is jokey , light, he is trying to force some normality back into the conversation.

I shrug my shoulders .

"It was OK . It's not exactly broadway , but it is money in my pocket. I met your step-brother. "

His whole body tenses as I say these words. I glance at him , noting that his face is full of fury. In fact , I had never seen him look so angry.

"Stay away from him Rachel. "

OK , Why did they seem to hate each other so much?

"That's funny, he gave me the exact same warning about you. "

"I mean it" He is almost shouting now. "I should have remembered that my dickhead Dad promised him a job when he was 21. Shit shit shit. Just stay the fuck away from him. "

The venom in his tone startles me.

"Woah , Blaine, calm down. We barely spoke. "

"Good. Keep it that way. Don't have anything to do with him. "

I shrug my shoulders , not knowing why he was so angry.

"I'm not going to go out of my way to speak to him , but I'm not going to just blank him either. "

We stop outside my building. Blaine's face was still like **thunder** . He gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow Miss Berry. "

Then he hurries off down the street , even the way he walked conveyed how angry he felt. As I walked into my cold empty dorm room, I wondered why the hell the two step brothers hated each other that much.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N ... HEY GUYS! YOUR REVIEWS ARE ALL AMAZING, A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY REGULAR REVIEWERS, SO GLAD YOU ARE ENJOYING IT. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER BLAINE POV, YOU ALL SEEMED TO ENJOY IT LAST TIME :-D I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ONE THOUGH, THERE IS THE RETURN OF A FAMILIAR FACE 3**

**Chapter 8 – Brighter**

Over the next two weeks I slowly settled into a pattern. I was running on empty but I was getting by. I would wake up at 5 am , do any homework I needed to do, Go to Uni , tried as hard as I could in my classes, I finally felt like I had my singing voice back, then I would go home, eat a pitiful dinner, either because I couldn't face much, or because I couldn't afford much, then I would walk to work with Blaine , Do the work, walk back home with Blaine, then crash out on my bed around midnight.

In between all that, I somehow found time to shower and do normal everyday things, but it was all on autopilot. I missed my friends desperately. It had all seemed cosy at McKinley, then I just shut everybody out. I had nobody but myself to blame. I still wasn't over my Dad's leaving me like this , who would be? How does anybody get over that? But I was learning to live again.

I walked into the food hall at NYADA and headed straight over to my usual table where I sat by myself every day. Even though Blaine walked me to work and back every night, he didn't really socialize with me at school except for the odd comment about getting with me in lessons. It was how I liked it. He was too irritating to spend much time with anyway so it suited me just fine.

I took a bite into my pitta bread filled with salad, watching as he laughed and joked with the cool gang. He could fit in anywhere, his charm was second to none and he made friends with everyone. He even had every single teacher wrapped around his finger. He was definitely a big fish at NYADA.

"Have you still not got with him yet? You go to the same university dwarf , it's about time you got him out of your system."

My mouth falls open at the familiar voice. Tears spring to my eyes as her tray thuds down on the table next to mine. I turn to her, grabbing her in a massive hug, letting the tears fall freely now.

"Santana. I-I , Can't believe you are h-h-here. What … How are y-you, Why have you…"

She laughs gently as she squeezes me , ruffling my hair fondly.

"I got bored at my cheerleading UNI. It turns out somebody here dropped out last week, All it took was a flutter of my eyelashes and a massively exaggerated application form, and they let me join. "

I giggle as I pull away from her.

"I'm so happy you are here. I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I froze you all out. It's just been…. It's…"

She grabs my hand , and stares at me with her big chocolate eyes. Sympathy and love radiates from her.

"Ssshhhh . It's OK Rach. You have been through hell and back. You do _not _need to apologise. You understand me? "

I nod slowly, wiping at my tears with my free hand.

"What have I walked in to? It's like some soppy movie, you staring at him, him staring at you. You two really need to get it out of your system. "

I sneak a glance at Blaine, she was right, he was staring at me . A look of confusion crossed his face, he must have wondered why I was crying like a baby in the middle of the food hall. Or he must have wondered how after weeks of being friendless, I suddenly had someone sitting with me.

"He's just a …. Well, I was going to say friend, but that's too nice really. He's just someone who constantly bugs me every single day. "

She rolls her eyes.

"Rachel Berry, look at him. He is totally into you. And I don't mean into you for a bit of a hook up, I mean _really _into you. "

I shake my head , not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"It's nothing. "

Santana raises her eyebrow as she takes a huge bite of her burger. I giggle as grease drips down her chin. God, I had missed my friends.

"So why has he been walking you to that tacky as hell job every night? And walking you back? You can't tell me that's nothing. "

I gasp.

"How do you know about that? And it's not a tacky job . It's a cleaning job. I might work at a lap dancing club , but I'm not a dancer. Give me some credit Tanny. "

She roars with laughter.

"What did you just call me? Tanny? Seriously? And calm down dwarf, I know you are a cleaner. Trust me, if I knew you were in that seedy club dancing , you would not be going back."

I laugh with her.

"Yes Tanny. It suits you. Get used to it. And anyway, how do you know?"

She wipes her face on a napkin and takes a long sip of her drink.

"Because I have been living in the dorm room right next to yours for the last week , I have seen you coming and going. You have never been in long enough to notice me. Seriously girl, you need a rest. "

The beam on my face widens . She is living next door to me! Oh wow. This was the best day at NYADA by miles.

"I have a night off tonight. "

She smiles at me affectionately.

"Good. We can have some time together then. It's time to get your sparkle back Berry. I have to shoot off, I said I would phone Britt to tell her how you are, everyone has been worried about you. They miss you so much. And then I'm going to skip class for the afternoon. So… I'll see you tonight. "

She rises out of her seat and goes to put her empty tray on the rack.

"You can't skip class on your first day here Tanny" I call after her.

She grins at me.

" It's only cheer class, I just spent the last few weeks doing that. "

"Then why did you take it again?"

She shrugs her shoulders and walks off, her pony tail swinging as everyone clears a path for her. She was already the queen bee , and she had only been here a few hours.

The next lesson was a breeze . I had a permanent smile on my face after my talk with Tanny. I just couldn't believe she was here, with me. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I realised that I needed someone.

When I get back to my room, I take a long shower. It is my first night off in ages , and I was going to enjoy it. I let my hair dry naturally , letting it fall into natural waves, my hair had been shoved into a scruffy pony tail for the last few weeks, so it was nice to see it looking more like the style I used to have. I put on my one nice dress I had managed to keep, A little black number with gypsy sleeves. LacyLola's paid the staff weekly, and I had already put enough away to pay off a few bills and maybe get myself a new outfit. I smiled at the thought as a loud knock sounded at my door.

I couldn't actually see Santana , as she was hidden behind a pizza box and two bottles of wine. I didn't care that I wasn't legally old enough to drink , I needed a glass of something strong. Besides, If I pretended I was in England, then I wouldn't be breaking the law!

"Thought you could do with some fattening up , you are skin and bone Rach. Have you even bothered to eat since your Dad's….. " She stops as I flinch at the mention of my Dad's. When she continues, her voice is much softer. "Well, since it all happened. Because it looks like you haven't eaten for weeks. "

I shrug my shoulders. I was actually feeling pretty hungry tonight, maybe it was the return of Santana. I grabbed a bottle of wine and drunk straight from the bottle. She stares at me.

"Sorry. I have no glasses. Can I have a slice then?"

She nods and smiles, opening the other bottle for herself and taking a long gulp.

"You can have the whole pizza if it means you eat something. "

I roll my eyes at her.

"I saw the way you ate that burger earlier Tanny, if I dared take your share, you would cut me or something. "

She giggles , choking on her wine. The next hour is spent laughing , talking and drinking wine. I was caught up on the McKinley crew. Things were much the same really, Quinn and Finn were still going strong. Artie had enrolled at film school, But probably the most surprising thing of all, was the fact that Brittany had been discovered as a genius , and was now at a special school for the extremely intelligent, helping important people crack codes and stuff.

"I'm so proud of her" She cooed as her eyes went all misty. She was a woman deeply in love, and I couldn't have been more thrilled for her.

"I'm just so sad I had to miss out on everyone's good news. I can't believe I pushed you all away. "

"Like I said, don't worry about it. It's not as if you wanted to push us away. Grief is a funny thing. You shouldn't have had to deal with it alone, we should have insisted on being there for you more. "

Her kindness brings tears to my eyes again, but I manage to keep them at bay.

We both jump at the sound of the door, causing us to hiccup and collapse in a fit of giggles. I kick the empty wine bottle accidentally as I stagger to the door. As I open it and see Blaine standing there , I laugh even harder.

"I do believe you are drunk Rachel Berry. "

I clutch my sides as I fall down to the floor, tears streaming down my face from laughter. Santana was giggling on the bed.

"Wha…What makes you ssssay that?"

I stutter out through the laughter.

He walks in to my room, uninvited , shutting the door firmly behind him.

"Oh I don't know. It's either the fact you are crying with laughter at a knock on the door, or the fact that there are empty wine bottles littering your room. They are both pretty good clues to be honest. "

He shoots Santana a filthy look. I stand up shakily and sit on the bed next to Tanny. I stare up at Blaine. He looks gorgeous in a white shirt and black trousers. He looked like he was dressed up to go somewhere.

"I see you are a good influence on her, you have only been here a day and she is pissed. Aren't you from her old Glee club? You should be looking out for her."

She laughs out loud and stares at him with a mixture of amusement and fury.

"And what exactly have you been doing except trying to have sex with her? How is that going to help? This is the first time she has laughed in the three months since her Dad's died. "

My hand flies to my mouth in shock. Blaine looks confused , his eyes dart to me, they are full of sympathy , sadness, pity.

"What? Rachel? What the fuck. We have seen each other every day for the last few weeks and you didn't think to tell me your parents have fucking died? "

"You didn't tell him?"

Santana is staring at me now, clearly puzzled at this news.

I glance at both of them, sadness fills my heart as I remember the awful night, all of my friends there to witness the horrible truth that my only family had been killed. The walls are closing in on me. I can't breathe. I want to throw up. I really can't breathe. Somebody has put a thousand bricks in my chest and they are crushing my heart. I need air. If I don't get out of here, I am going to die.

I run. I run from the room , down the stairs , and out into the night. I don't stop running until I am a few blocks away, where I find a brick wall and sit down on it , trying to steady my breathing , trying to convince myself that I won't die, not just yet, it's just a stupid panic attack. They can't hurt me. But then why are they so fucking painful?

I hear footsteps getting closer, obviously somebody running.

"There you are. Stop doing that Rachel. You are always running. "

I don't look up as Blaine sit's next to me on the wall. He smells of mint and vanilla again, just like he did on the night of nationals. I don't back away as he puts his arm around my shoulders, and pulls me close to him. We sit together like this for ages , he holds me while I cry silently into his shoulder, eventually he hands me a tissue from his pocket so I can wipe my tears away. I feel him place a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you baby. You should have told me. "

"Why? How would it have helped anything? "

He sighs deeply. He squeezes me even tighter, I don't want him to let go. It's warm and safe in his arms.

"I don't know. I just… You …. You shouldn't have been going through this alone. "

I wipe the rest of my tears away , standing up , I didn't like how comfortable I felt in his arms. He stands up with me, tenderly tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Why did you come over tonight anyway Blaine? It's my night off. "

He smiles at me softly, his eyes swimming with affection. It made me feel all fuzzy and shy.

"I know it's your night off. I came to take you on a date. "

I gape at him.

"Excuse me?"

He chuckles.

"A date…. You know…. Have a meal, a drink, get to know each other, go home and fuck like rabbits , that sort of thing."

I push him playfully.

"Not everything has to end up with sex you know. "

He grabs my hand , and breathes out, it looks like he is a bit nervous.

"I know. And honestly, I just wanted to take you on a date. Walk you home afterwards like a proper gentleman does , of course I would be hoping that you enjoyed the date so much you would want to shag my brains out…. But that would just be the icing on the cake. I …. I want to spend time with you. "

I raise my eyebrow. He seemed like he was being serious. My heart was thudding madly, I was sure he could hear it.

"I have already eaten. And I am pretty sure I don't need anything else to drink. So that only leaves fucking, and I am not going to do that as you know, so I guess you won't get your date. "

He smiles at me , and places a soft kiss on my lips.

"You forgot the thing I was most looking forward to about the date. Getting to know you. We can still do that."

His hopeful eyes bore into mine. I can't help but smile at him.

"OK. "

He rewards me with a dazzling grin.

"Really? "

He sounds doubtful. Like I would back out at any moment.

"Really. My place or yours?"

He grabs my hand , and we start walking along.

"Let's go to mine for a change. Your friend has probably passed out drunk on your bed by now. Text her soon to let her know you are OK though . Oh. And Rachel?"

"Yes?"

His eyes sparkle as he grins at me wickedly.

"Don't go trying to get me into bed will you? Because I don't want to have to reject you. It won't be nice for either of us. "

I giggle, he was so funny sometimes. Or maybe I was just drunk.

"Oh don't worry sexy, there will be none of that."

He stops , a surprised look on his face.

"You just called me sexy. "

My cheeks turn pink as I realise that I did call him that. I was definitely drunk, I never called guys sexy to their faces.

He starts walking again, beaming from ear to ear.

"This is going to be fun."

He says quietly, more to himself than anything.

My smile matches his .

"Yeah it is " I agree , as we stroll back to his , hand in hand, full of excitement for what lay ahead.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - HEY EVERYONE! THE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 8 WERE ONCE AGAIN AMAZING. THANKS SO MUCH AND I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE. **

**GLAD YOU ALL LIKE SWEET BLAINE, WE MIGHT SEE SOME MORE SWEETENESS FROM HIM IN HIS VERY OWN CHAPTER! BLAINE'S POINT OF VIEW IS BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND, I LIKE TO DO THESE SO WE CAN GET HIS PERSPECTIVE AS WELL. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY. **

**IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS WE START TO FIND OUT ABOUT BRODY AND BLAINES HATE FOR EACH OTHER, SO PLEASE KEEP READING. THANKS EVERYBODY XXXX**

**Chapter 9 – Falling**

Blaine Anderson was enjoying his time at NYADA so far. He had only been here for a morning, but he knew that he would fit in . He already seemed like the most popular guy in school, he had the teachers wrapped around his fingers , the girls swooning after him, and the guys laughing at his jokes. He felt like he belonged here. And why not? He worked hard to be liked and respected. He worked hard to get into such a good University. And he was going to relish every minute.

As I was in the middle of telling a particularly funny story to a group of guys from my acting class over lunch , (It must have been funny because it earned me a round of applause) , My heart stopped. I gasped as I saw Rachel Berry walking to the tray holders, her lunch untouched. She was a shadow of her former self. Gone were the cute skirts and animal print blouses paired with knee-high socks and pumps, they were replaced with a baggy jumper and jeans, her hair was tied in a scruffy pony, it was like she hadn't even bothered to brush her hair that morning. She looked smaller than she had the first night they had met, but not in a good way. She was skinny, way too skinny. Maybe she was on a crazy diet or something? She didn't need to be. She looked good the way she was.

But as I caught a glimpse of her face before she ran from the food hall, my breath caught. Her eyes were haunted. She was sad. The fire and passion that had been present in her eyes months ago was replaced by bitterness and loneliness. What the fuck was going on? He had looked forward to seeing her face as she realised they were at the same uni , looked forward to the inevitable moment she would fall for his charms and this time, go all the way with him, but now… well. He wasn't so sure what would happen. All he knew was that something had changed her. And he had to know if she was OK .

He ran after her , feeling a little panicked . It was ridiculous to be so worried about somebody he barely knew, but he had to find out what was wrong.

"Rachel! Hey! Come here."

I called out after her , hoping she would stop.

She stops , turning to face me. I blurt out some awful line about being great and that was why I was in NYADA, but I was just babbling because I felt a little nervous. I covered my nerves with a smirk.

"What do you want Blaine?" She asked as she started walking back down the corridor. Even her voice was tinged with sadness.

I matched her pace , struggling to keep up with her, this girl could move fast , usually when she was running away from me.

"I want you" Shit shit shit. Why the hell did I say that? It sounded needy. I added on something about getting our fuck out-of-the-way, so she didn't think I came across as too desperate.

She tells me to get lost , then mutters stuff about how we are never going to happen and how I should get with other girls and to leave her alone. I hated it when she kept saying stuff like that , because I knew that she wanted me , she was just playing hard to get . It seemed to be a little game of hers , but it was getting to me now.

Turns out we had singing class together. I knew something was really wrong when she didn't sing once through the whole class. She lived for singing. She was probably the most talented one in this whole place . Apart from me of course. Why had she changed so much over summer? Her drive and passion had just faded.

The teacher wanted a word with her at the end of the lesson , so I made my way out of the building , deciding there and then that I would get to the bottom of this . I mean, It wasn't that I cared or anything , it was just that… well, I was never going to get to nail her if she carried on being this depressed. And she was number 1 on my list of girls to screw at this place.

When she spots me outside waiting for her, she starts rejecting me _again_, saying she didn't want anything to do with me.

It felt like a little stab in my heart as she said that, I couldn't figure out why she kept saying all those things, it was starting to hurt a little. Besides, She was not OK , and I wasn't about to just give up on her.

"I'm not going anywhere."

I feel her eyes on me as she tries to figure out what I meant by that, I couldn't look at her. I felt a bit embarrassed that I had said the words out loud, it made it seem like I was in way too deep.

Just as I was starting to question my feelings, wondering why I kept blurting out sentimental things, thinking that I may actually have feelings for this girl, she insulted my talents in the bedroom, saying that all the girls I had slept with must have had shit experiences with other men if they thought I was good. Talk about a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls. She knew how to hit me where it hurt.

"Do you really think that?"

I ask as I walk into her grotty little dorm room. Seriously… what the fuck was going on? Rachel Berry should be living in some sort of castle , not a tiny little shoebox of a room with a miniscule window , rickety old bed and little chest of drawers. The carpet was dirty and horrible, the walls were yellow, but not a nice sunny yellow, a dirty yellow. This place gave me the shudders. I wanted to ask her to come and live at my place, after all, my dad had brought me a two bedroomed house that was the size of a small castle. That was one thing that I couldn't get my head around , why did a house with just two bedrooms need three bathrooms and two living rooms? I mean seriously…. Who invented these houses? Anyway, did I seriously just think about asking Rachel Berry to come and live with me? Maybe I was ill or something. But as I sat down on the mouldy carpet , and took another glance around the room, I knew that I didn't want her living here. It was shit.

"It doesn't matter what I think Blaine, You keep talking the talk about how all these other girls fall at your feet, so as long as they think you are great , what does it matter how I feel?"

Her voice is so sad, so withdrawn. It seriously makes me down to hear her like that. And her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course it mattered . Couldn't she see that?

"It does matter."

I stare into her eyes, she seems shocked by my words. I can't seem to look away. I want her to know that I mean it. I mean it with all my heart.

We talk for a bit, and my heart races the whole time. I was confused, I didn't know what was happening. I stood up , trying to calm my nerves. As I saw an open newspaper with jobs circled on her chest of drawers, my confusion deepened.

I sit on the bed next to her, desperately wanting to hug her, protect her from whatever she was going through. But I refrained, not wanting to scare her off.

My Dad needed a cleaner, I told her about the job before realising what a complete idiot I was. My Dad , John Anderson, owned a string of Lap dancing clubs. He was a powerful, rich man, and the clubs were seedy. I didn't want Rachel working in a place like that. She was better than that. She belonged on a stage , with thousands of people watching her, adoring her. But I had just wanted to help her, hearing her talk about how she needed a job so bad, and I knew that if I spoke to my Dad , he would give her the job no questions asked.

To my dismay , she seemed enthusiastic, and I reluctantly gave her the number for my Dad, telling her to phone later. I decided there and then that as it was my fault she knew about this job and would almost certainly get it, I should be there for her. I could walk her there and back , being outside that club in the dark of the night was no place for a woman. It was the least I could do. Besides , I wanted to do it if it meant I got to spend more time with her. I shook the thought away , what the hell was going on with me. Maybe she was a witch or something , maybe she had cast some creepy spell over me which actually made me care about people . Because it was definitely a first for me. I decided not to tell her that I would be walking her to and from the club every night, I knew what she was like , she would just argue against it. It was one of the things I admired her for, but she was not going to win this battle.

The next night, I left my house at about half six to head for Rachel's dorm room, not that you could call it a room, it was a shit hole. The more I had thought about it last night , the more it had angered me that this gorgeous girl who had once been a diva with a zest of life had become this shell of a thing living in a dirty shoebox. It made me sad. And I didn't want those kinds of emotions floating in my head. My life was simple when I only had sex on the brain.

I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath as I approached her door. I was feeling nervous. I knew that she would hate the idea of me walking her, and if I was being completely honest, it was getting a little hard to take with her constantly rejecting me and telling me to get lost . I raised my hand up to knock just as she opened the door . She gasped in shock at the sight of me. I nearly gasped at the sight of her , but I kept it in. She looked more beautiful every time I saw her. She also looked sadder than she did yesterday , which made my heart ache a bit.

"Blaine, Wha- What are you doing here? You scared me."

Her voice was breathless, she was clearly surprised at my arrival. I grin at her, not able to hide my happiness at seeing her.

"I am here to walk you to your new job of course. "

Crap, I sounded way too keen and gushy. I had to turn it around. I checked my watch.

"We do have time for a quickie, just so you know. "

Fuck, why did I always turn everything into sex. Wait, why did I care? I turned everything into sex with every other girl I had ever knew, why did Rachel Berry make me feel so guilty about it?

She rolled her pretty eyes, walking away from me , down the grimy stairs of the building, protesting and mumbling about me walking her to the club.

I grab her hand, I wanted to be close to her, I had been wanting to touch her since last night. To my complete surprise, she doesn't resist, she just asks if the hand holding is necessary, to which I answer yes. I couldn't really give her a reason why, but it was necessary , at least to me.

As we walk together, I feed her a few more lines about how great I could make her feel, I mean, I know I felt bad at mentioning sex all the time in her company, but I was male after all, and she was gorgeous. I wouldn't be human if I didn't think about it.

My heart thuds as we approach the club , I would be kicking myself forever for telling her about this horrible job. I didn't want her anywhere this seedy place . At least I knew she would be relatively safe in there, I had already had a word with my Dad about it, and if I so much as heard a whisper that a customer had tried anything on with her, I would hunt him down and knock him out.

Just before she walked in, I told her to be careful. I wanted to walk in with her, I couldn't explain what I was feeling. It felt like something deeper than I could possibly say. I just had a really bad feeling about her being there, like something bad was going to happen to her. Like I had led her into the lions den.

I couldn't relax the whole night . I paced around my house , wondering how she was getting on. I watched the clock minute by minute until it was time to go and pick her up again.

I grabbed a jacket on the way out, the night had turned chilly and Rachel hadn't taken a coat with her. She looked surprised to see me as I offered her the jacket. My heart beat returned to a normal pace once I saw her with my own eyes, saw that everything was OK .

As we walk , she lectures me about walking her to and from the job, and by the time she asks what's in it for me,I knew she thought I was doing this because I wanted to get laid, I couldn't stop myself.

I grabbed her, and kissed her hard, feeling all my pent up frustration ease away. It was like nothing as mattered as soon as my lips touched hers. Her lips were soft , and she smelt of strawberries and coconut. My heart starts thudding once more at the contact , and I realise with a start that she is relaxing, kissing me back. She is enjoying it. I feel hope in my heart as I pull away, taking her beautiful face in my hands as I try to explain to her.

"It's not about that anymore. You have no choice in the matter. And neither do I. I physically can't stay away from you. The only reason I didn't chase you over the summer is because I knew I would be seeing you here. This path Rachel, It has already been chosen for us. It's scaring me . "

She stares up at me with her huge brown eyes, and I knew in that moment that I would protect her from anything. She was vulnerable , and I could tell by her expression that she didn't know what to make out of what I had just said. She didn't believe me. She must have been badly hurt before, she was scarred.

I wanted to make her feel relaxed around me, I realised it was going to take time for her to trust me.

"So… Did you have a good night?"

I keep my voice jokey, trying to inject some lightness back into the night.

She shrugs.

"It was OK . It's not exactly broadway , but it is money in my pocket. I met your step-brother. "

I tense at the mention of my step-brother. My whole insides turned to ice, sending a shiver through me. My belly ached with dread at the thought of Rachel being around him.

"Stay away from him Rachel. "

I tried to keep my tone even, tried to show I was in control.

"That's funny, he gave me the exact same warning about you. "

He would , I thought to myself. Trust fucking Brody to pop back into my life. Not just my life, Rachel's. I felt a cold sweat upon my head as I tried to calm myself down. All I felt was sheer panic. I couldn't risk Rachel being near him, he was dangerous.

"I mean it" My voice had risen, I needed her to understand. "I should have remembered that my dickhead Dad promised him a job when he was 21. Shit shit shit. Just stay the fuck away from him. "

She stares at me, mouth open at my hostility.

"Woah , Blaine, calm down. We barely spoke. "

That makes me feel a little better.

"Good. Keep it that way. Don't have anything to do with him. "

She told me she wouldn't be overly friendly to him, but she wouldn't blank him either. This had put a dampener on my whole night, all I was worried about earlier was my feelings for Rachel, Now I had Brody to worry about.

I went home, trying to figure out what I could do. It seemed there was nothing I could do. I knew my Dad wouldn't listen to me, he had taken Brody's side on the whole fucked up mess. I walked Rachel to and from work every night for the next few weeks, wanting more than ever to just drag her back home with me, away from the shitty dorm room she called home, away from the seedy night club, away from Brody.

One day as I was eating my lunch with a group of guys , I noted with surprise that Rachel was sitting with one of her old Glee club members. I think she was the bitchy lesbian one, I hadn't liked the look of her on National's night, but my belly gave a little flip as I realised with a jolt that Rachel looked… well… she looked happy. And it was no doubt down to the girl who was sitting with her.

I knew Rachel had a night off tonight , and I had planned to tell her how I feel. Ok , so no, I wasn't brave enough for that yet, I wasn't even certain of what I did feel, and I didn't want to admit to myself that I did have feelings for her. But anyway, I wanted to take her on a date. Only sometimes , things don't go how you want them too.

Before I even knocked on Rachel's door that night, I heard drunken laughter and the chink of a wine bottle. Rachel opened the door, falling to the ground in hysterical laughter. Half of me was paranoid that I had something on my face , the other half mesmerised at how fucking cute a drunk Rachel was. My heart swelled as I listened to her laughter , I hadn't heard her laugh at all , I felt a bit jealous that I couldn't evoke that out of her and this Glee member sitting on her bed who was also drunk could.

I shot her a filthy look.

"I see you are a good influence on her, you have only been here a day and she is pissed. Aren't you from her old Glee club? You should be looking out for her."

My words were said out of jealousy rather than anger. I knew that she had put a smile on Rachel's face and for that I was grateful to this girl.

"And what exactly have you been doing except trying to have sex with her? How is that going to help? This is the first time she has laughed in the three months since her Dad's died. "

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Was she serious? Rachel's Dad's were dead? But they had been in the audience that night at National's . Fuck. No wonder Rachel had become a ghost of herself. Why hadn't she told me? Surely I had a right to know a little detail like that? Why would she keep it from me? She had suffered all by herself for weeks at this Uni and I hadn't done anything to make her feel better. No wonder she still hated me.

"What? Rachel? What the fuck. We have seen each other every day for the last few weeks and you didn't think to tell me your parents have fucking died? "

OK, so maybe I could have been a little gentler with my words. But I wasn't the only one shocked. Her Glee club friend turned to her in horror.

"You didn't tell him?"

I watch as Rachel withdraws into herself. Gone is the happy , drunk girl who was here just a minute ago, replaced with the sad , haunted Rachel I had come to know. I watched as tears sprung to her eyes, her breathing became faster as she tried to keep it all in. I knew what she was going to do probably even before she knew. She was going to run. Like she always did. Always running , always shutting me out.

As she darted from the room, I shouted at her friend to stay there, that I would get her to text her once I had found her. Then I ran after her. I could see her in the distance , It was amazing how fast she could run considering she was wearing a sexy little black dress. She looked hot as fuck, but I didn't care about that right now. I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be OK .

I finally caught up with her as she sat on a wall, I sat next to her , wrapping my arm around her , letting her bury her head in my chest and cry it out. I held her while she sobbed silently. I wanted to cry with her, how could she have kept it all in for so long? She had so much shit to deal with , the teachers at UNI were constantly digging her out for not trying hard enough, the fellow students all thought she was a weird unsociable loner, and she worked her butt off every night in a grotty club, all the while hiding this massive secret that her whole world had been turned upside down. I guessed that her parents death had something to with her needing a job so bad, maybe they had left her with nothing? I felt a shudder as a wave of emotion swept through me. Life was so unfair sometimes. Why had she had to suffer like this?

"I'm so sorry this happened to you baby. You should have told me. "

"Why? How would it have helped anything? "

Her voice was so sad it made my heart ache, I squeezed her even tighter, I didn't want to let her go.

"I don't know. I just… You …. You shouldn't have been going through this alone. "

She stood up, and I stood up automatically with her. I tucked a strand of glossy brown hair behind her ear so I could see her face better.

"Why did you come over tonight anyway Blaine? It's my night off. "

I smiled at her warmly, she was so brave , there she goes again, trying to change the subject. I decided to go along with it, she clearly didn't want to talk about it. Maybe she would when she was ready, and I would make sure I was there.

"I know it's your night off. I came to take you on a date. "

Her mouth falls open in shock as she stares at me.

"Excuse me?"

I chuckle at her confusion.

"A date…. You know…. Have a meal, a drink, get to know each other, go home and fuck like rabbits , that sort of thing."

I could have hit myself for saying about the rabbits. She would never take me seriously if I didn't stop saying things like that. But old habits die hard! She pushes me playfully, not taking it as bad as I feared she would.

"Not everything has to end up with sex you know. "

I grab her hand, breathing out, my nerves in tatters. My heart was racing wildly, it seemed to do that a lot in Rachel Berry's company.

"I know. And honestly, I just wanted to take you on a date. Walk you home afterwards like a proper gentleman does , of course I would be hoping that you enjoyed the date so much you would want to shag my brains out…. But that would just be the icing on the cake. I …. I want to spend time with you. "

She raises her eyebrow suspiciously.

"I have already eaten. And I am pretty sure I don't need anything else to drink. So that only leaves fucking, and I am not going to do that as you know, so I guess you won't get your date. "

I smile at her, placing a kiss on her sweet lips.

"You forgot the thing I was most looking forward to about the date. Getting to know you. We can still do that."

I stare at her hopefully, I needed to spend time with her, it would crush me if she said no.

"OK. "

Wait, did I hear her right? Did she just agree? I look at her, unable to stop the huge grin spreading over my face.

"Really? "

"Really. My place or yours?"

I feel euphoric as I grab her hand , entwining our fingers together. We fit perfectly.

"Let's go to mine for a change. Your friend has probably passed out drunk on your bed by now. Text her soon to let her know you are OK though . Oh. And Rachel?"

"Yes?"

I smile at her, unable to contain my happiness.

"Don't go trying to get me into bed will you? Because I don't want to have to reject you. It won't be nice for either of us. "

She giggled at my comment, much to my relief.

"Oh don't worry sexy, there will be none of that."

My heart jumps, I stop, this time me with my mouth hanging open in shock.

"You just called me sexy."

Her cheeks turned pink as I continued to stare at her, fireworks bursting through me at the first compliment she had ever really given me.

I beam from ear to ear as we start walking again, hand in hand.

"This is going to be fun."

I mutter to myself.

"Yeah it is." She agrees as she smiles too, looking more relaxed than I had ever seen her.

I was about to spend some real time with Rachel, out of uni, out of working hours, out of shitty dorm rooms, just me and her , in a real house, talking together.

And I knew for a fact, that by the time she left mine, she would know that I was in love with her. Because I knew that I was deeply, madly, and scarily in love with her. And I knew that I had to tell her how I felt.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - WOW, I AM SO SO SOOOO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN CHAPTERS! LIFE GOT IN THE WAY , WORK MY TWO KIDS, AND MY SPARE TIME HAS BEEN FILLED WITH FRIENDS HEN NIGHTS, WEDDINGS, A POP CONCERT AND THREE THEATRE SHOW! AGAIN, I APOLOGISE. THIS CHAPTER IS BACK TO RACHEL'S POINT OF VIEW, AND THERE IS EVEN A DARREN CRISS SONG REFERENCE THROWN IN THERE! **

**I ABSOLUTELY ADORED ALL YOUR REVIEWS FROM MY LAST CHAPTER, YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND YOUR KIND WORDS MAKE ME SMILE. THANKS SO MUCH 3**

**ENJOY XXX**

**Chapter 10 – Closer**

I looked around at the clean living room in surprise. Blaine's house was so tidy and cosy. The huge corner sofa was cream , it blended in with the decor . I had thought teenage boys were meant to be messy. Well, Finn had been terrible, he made his mum do everything from washing his underwear to taking away cups from his room that had been there for about a month.

"Do you like it?" Blaine stared at me , waiting for an answer. His hand still gripped mine just as it had all the way back to his.

"It's lovely." I smile at him. "It's not how I thought it would be. "

"How did you think it would be ?" He sounds genuinely puzzled.

"Dirty, smelly, teenage boyish…."

He rolls his eyes.

"Wow, that's not stereotypical at all Rachel. "

I giggle, swaying a bit. I still felt drunk, so much had happened tonight and now I was here, in Blaine Anderson's house. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I thought about the night in the hotel room. I knew that If we rekindled our passion tonight, I wouldn't stop him or run out. And I also knew that I wouldn't regret it. He was acting different. He seemed like… well, he seemed to care. He had handled the news about my Dad's with sensitivity and tact. Maybe NYADA had made him grow up or something?

"If I didn't know any better, I would say you are still intoxicated with wine. So here's the plan , we are going to get you some water and something to eat , the pizza you had obviously didn't soak anything up."

I giggle again.

"That's because I ate it before I drunk the whole bottle silly."

He shakes his head in amusement.

"Right, should have guessed. But before we do that, I have something to show you. "

I raise my eyebrow.

"Is it your cock?"

He gasps.

"Excuse me? "

I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. His body felt warm and his breath smelt sweet.

"You heard me . Because that would be completely cool with me."

I go to kiss him, but end up head-butting him on the nose by accident.

He rubs his nose , laughing.

"Wow. Drunk Rachel is rude, flirty and clumsy. What have I let myself in for?" He grins and takes my hand again, leading me to another room.

"As much as I like the fact that you are completely cool with seeing my cock…. I actually wanted to show you something else. "

As he opens the door to the closed room we are standing outside of, my breath catches as I look around . Every wall is lined with shelves, shelves that reach right to the ceiling. And every shelf is stacked with books. Books of every colour, every thickness, fiction, non fiction, collections , everything you can possibly imagine. The books don't stop there, on the floor , there are piles and piles of them stacked up , I couldn't even begin to estimate how many books he had in here.

I stare at him in surprise as he takes in my reaction. His eyes are shining, he looks half proud , half embarrassed.

"Well, what do you think? In the hotel that night, you… you asked if I had any books so I thought you might like to see…..Nevermind. "

He shakes his head and reaches out to close the door. I grab his arm , stopping him from shutting the door on the most amazing room I had ever seen. Blaine Anderson certainly had depth to him. He was way more than this cocky guy who made filthy remarks all the time. There was a whole side to him I didn't know.

He looks at my hand resting on his arm nervously, then looks into my eyes again, he looked more embarrassed than ever , though I couldn't figure out why.

"Wow. Blaine, this room, it is just….. Are you a fan of Beauty and the Beast?"

His brow furrows in confusion.

"Huh?"

I giggle at his expression.

"You know, the beast has that huge room full of books, then he gives it to Belle. It is so sweet."

He does a low throaty chuckle, I grin as his perfect white teeth gleam in the light. He really was hot.

"The Beast is a pushover, don't even think about me giving this room to you, never going to happen. "

I sigh and roll my eyes dramatically.

"How romantic of you. I should have known really, that a Beast would have more romance in his little hairy clawed finger than you have in your whole body."

He raises his eyebrow as he steps closer to me , shutting the door to the room of books, grabbing me around the small of my back, pulling me in to him so our bodies are pressed together.

I gasp as he wraps his other hand around the back of my neck, and dips me low, kissing me hard, making my head spin and leaving me gasping for air. It was like one of those old-fashioned kisses in the movies . It was perfect. As he straightens me back up, his hand that had been on my neck moves round to my cheek, his finger slowly glides down it, tracing my jaw line , his touch feather soft.

"Fuck the beast, I bet he doesn't kiss like that."

I giggle, thinking how even though he was far from modest , I wouldn't want him any other way. I wrap my arms around his neck, tracing little kisses from his ear to his neck, he moans as I kiss harder, whipping my hands round to his chest as I start undoing his shirt buttons.

"I don't want to fuck the beast, I want to fuck you."

He moans again as I continue kissing his soft skin, he smells gorgeous, manly and clean as I work my way down his chest after opening each button, his little tufts of black hair sprinkled on his chest tickling my nose as I kiss.

"Rachel. Stop. We can't do this. "

"Yes we can." I mutter as I drunkenly fumble with his belt. He backs away from me with a sigh, grabbing my hand so I don't fall forward. He quickly does his buttons up with his other hand as I glare at him. He looks hot and flustered. I try to shrug his hand off, but he keeps a tight grip on me.

"Can you please stop making drunken passes at me? I am trying to do the right thing but shit Rachel Berry, you are sure making it hard for me." He pulls me through to another room , while I carry on glaring at the back of his head.

"Right, what do you want to eat? We need to get you sobered up. "

I realise we are in his kitchen. Every work top and appliance is shining, he is obviously a clean freak or something. My stomach growled as I realised I was really hungry. I know I had that pizza earlier, but after months of not eating properly, I wanted food.

"Cake."

He narrows his eyes at me.

"Cake?"

I nod, rubbing my tummy.

"Chocolate cake. I haven't had chocolate cake in so long. "

He looks me up and down.

"Clearly. Seriously Rachel, you need fattening up. "

My cheeks flush red and I hug my arms to me, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"I just… My appetite has been … well… Non existent really. "

He squeezes my hand, looking at me with the sympathy I usually hated on other people, but on him, I didn't mind so much.

"That's understandable baby. But I am here for you now, and you can't get away with not eating any more. "

I squeeze his hand back, appreciating his kind words. He really was a man full of hidden extra's.

"So, you want chocolate cake huh? I just happened to make some earlier. "

He let's go of my hand and pulls a cake tin out from one of the cupboards. He opens the lid and my mouth falls open in surprise. It looked like a professional cake, it was gooey and chocolately and the smell was making my mouth water.

"There is no way you made that. "

"Oh yeah. Want me to make another one for you right now to prove it? Or shall we just get right on with the fun stuff…. Eating it?"

I raise my eyebrow at him, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt. He cut me a huge slice, putting it on a plate for me. I waited until he cut himself a slice, then we went back to the front room , settling down on his huge cream couch.

He watched me as I took my first bite , laughing as the chocolate cream oozed out from the middle and the brown crumbs fell onto my chest even though I had a plate.

"Oh my god, This is sooooo good."

I mumbled as cake filled my mouth. I knew it was rude to speak with your mouth full , but I didn't care. He ate his slice without dropping so much as a crumb, then took his plate back to the kitchen while I finished eating mine. Even though he had cut me a slice twice as big as his, I ate it all.

He walked back through with a huge jug of water and a glass , and some tissues so I could clear up the mess I'd made with the cake. I smiled at him gratefully as I cleaned up and poured a glass of water, gulping it down in one go.

"I'll be right back ."

He ran out of the room, and I heard his footsteps thudding up the stairs, silence for a minute, then footsteps echoing back down.

He had a huge smile on his face as he brought in 2 massive pillows and a huge fluffy blanket. I grinned back as he put the pillows at the corner bit of the couch, nodding his head towards them, indicating that I should go there.

I smiled and stood up, undoing the zip on my black dress slowly , then taking it off and throwing it down on the floor. His eyes roamed my body as I stood there in just my bra and panties, and even though I still had his earlier comment about my weight on my brain, I didn't feel self-conscious at all.

I didn't need to feel self-conscious judging by the way he gulped and his eyes flooded with heat. I was clearly having an affect on him. I dived into the blanket , settling against the pillows he had placed there, and patted the spot beside me.

Now it was his turn to strip , he undone the buttons on his crisp white shirt and shrugged it off, letting it full to his feet. He kicked his socks and shoes off , then undone his belt, pushing his black trousers down to the floor. I drunkenly wolf whistled as he stood there looking flawless in just his white boxers. He was muscled but not overly so, his chest and abs smooth and hard. His little tufts of black hair scattered on his chest made him ooze sex appeal, and my belly clenched as I noticed his sexy as hell happy trail from his navel leading into his boxers.

He grinned at my wolf whistle, then climbed into the blanket with me. The sofa was large enough that we could both lay comfortably side by side, it was bigger than a bed! He put his arm around my shoulders , and I cuddled into his chest, placing my hand on his chest, running my hand up and down his torso , marvelling at how toned he felt.

"No funny business Miss Berry . " He placed his free hand over my hand , stopping the movement.

I sighed as I snuggled into him further. He was warm and comfortable, I felt safe and relaxed for the first time in months.

"You have been begging me for funny business since the day we met. And now you don't want it? "

His chest rumbled as he laughed gently.

"Not tonight no. Not with you like this. "His tone was soft, gentle. "I … I care about you now Rachel. Before , it wouldn't have mattered if you were drunk and we slept together, because I would have never spoken to you again. I'd have gotten what I wanted. But now…. Well, now I want more. And there is no way in hell I would try anything on with you while you are intoxicated with alcohol. I have morals you know! "

I smile at his words. I was still finding it hard to believe , this soft caring side of Blaine. Could it really be true?

"You have morals? Really?" I say sarcastically.

He chuckles again.

"I'm a different person with you. You make me want to be a better person. "

His words startle me. I have no reply to that, so I just carry on hugging him , listening to his heart thud wildly .

"Thanks for tonight Blaine. I feel …. I feel really secure with you right now. "

I feel him smile as he kisses the top of my head.

"Good. I always want you to feel like that around me baby . You have been through so much. I still can't believe I didn't know. Why didn't you fucking tell me Rachel.?"

I winced as he said that. He sounded so angry with me. To be honest , it had never occurred to me to tell him. I didn't think he would care.

"I just…. I didn't want…. I couldn't talk about it. It's still too raw. " A single tear slid down my cheek.

Blaine felt the wetness drip onto his chest , and released me from his grip , edging down the couch so he was level with me. Our bodies faced each other, so close we were nearly touching, as he gazed into my eyes and wiped away a second tear that had just spilled over.

"When you are ready to talk about it, I will be here. I know you need time, but you don't need to go through this on your own anymore. Baby, You're not alone."

He cups my face, placing a gentle kiss on my lips, then wraps his strong arms around me , slowly rubbing my back up and down. The rhythm made me feel sleepy.

"Thank you. " My voice was quiet, tiredness had crept in big time.

"Go to sleep now beautiful. I will text your mad friend from your phone, let her know you are safe. "

I nod in agreement, too tired now to say anything.

The last thing I remember before falling into the best sleep I had had in months was Blaine kissing the tip of my nose and whispering "I'm here."


	11. Chapter 11

**LONG A/N! SO GUYS, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE. I AM VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT. AS YOU WILL ALL KNOW, WE LOST A MEMBER OF THE GLEE FAMILY. RIP CORY MONTIETH. I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU, I DIDN'T KNOW IF I SHOULD CARRY ON WITH THE STORY. I DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS AN INSULT TO THE HEARTBROKEN SHIPPERS OF MONCHELE/FINCHEL. BECAUSE AS ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS WILL KNOW, FINN BARELY GETS A MENTION AND IT'S ALL ABOUT RACHEL AND BLAINE. **

**BUT, AS I HAD MORE AND MORE REVIEWS TELLING ME TO CARRY ON, I REALISED , IT IS ONLY A STORY. CORY'S DEATH WAS SO SAD, BUT THIS STORY WOULDN'T AFFECT ANYONE. AND MY READERS, YOU ARE ALL SO LOYAL AND LOVELY IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY! HOW COULD I NOT CARRY ON FOR YOU LOT?! I HAD ALWAYS INTENDED TO GIVE YOU THIS STORY AND FINISH IT, AND IT IS WHAT I WILL DO. **

**AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING SOPPY, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOUR REVIEWS. THE FACT THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE MISSED THE UPDATES AND WANTED ME TO CARRY ON OUTSTANDS ME. I AM TRULY GRATEFUL THAT YOU LOVE THE STORY. YOU WILL GET YOUR ENDING! **

**MOVING ON TO INFO ABOUT THIS CHAPTER. **

**IT IS FULL OF SMUT! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE. **

**FOR THE ONES THAT DO LIKE SMUT AND READ SMUT, YOU MAY NOTICE THAT I DON'T GO INTO AS DEEP DETAIL AS SOMEOTHER WRITERS WHO INCLUDE SEXUAL SCENES. FOR ME PERSONALLY , I DON'T LIKE CERTAIN WORDS. I THINK YOU CAN GET THE POINT ACROSS WITHOUT SAYING AS MUCH . I GO FAR ENOUGH FOR ME AS A WRITER , AND I AM PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. AND BEAR IN MIND , I SAID FOR ME PERSONALLY, I ACTUALLY LOVE READING SOME SMUT BECAUSE SOME WRITERS PERFECT IT BEAUTIFULLY. **

**THE NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE SHOULD BE WITHIN THE NEXT DAY OR 2, CAN I JUST SAY THANKS AGAIN, AND KEEP READING. XXXXXX**

**Chapter 11**

I woke up lazily, smiling to myself though I had no idea why. I blinked in confusion as I looked up at the unfamiliar pattern on the ceiling. I felt more rested than I had in months.

"Good morning beautiful. You sure can sleep. Thought you were never going to wake up. I have found my very own sleeping beauty"

I gasp and sit up straight, clutching the blanket to my chest as I realise I am in my underwear. The sudden movement makes my head ache, and I start remembering bits of last night.

Oh my god, I was at Blaine's. It really wasn't a dream. I wince as I rub my head, remembering the bottle of wine I had very quickly consumed.

I look at Blaine as he sits up with me, looking sexier than I had ever seen him. His hair was a mess, and his sleepy eyes were looking me up and down tenderly while his mouth curved into a shy smile.

"M- m- morning ."

I stutter. My voice is croaky with sleep and nervous. From what I can remember, last night with Blaine had been magical. So why did I feel so…. Anxious.

Blaine was quick to pick up on my tone, he pulls me towards his bare chest, holding me in his strong arms. I hug him back limply, not daring to think about what I couldn't remember.

"Rachel, nothing happened between us if that is what you are worried about. "

His chest rumbled as he spoke, I held on to him a bit tighter, trying to convince myself that this was good, this was how it was meant to be. I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't supposed to happen. Where has the dirty, self-centred , jerk Blaine gone? Could he really be this lovely?

"Although I must admit, It was nice having you try and shag _my_ brains out for once."

I tense at his words, and start to release my grip on him. He just pulls me closer, hugging me tighter.

"But I was the perfect gent and had to turn you down. I hope you appreciate how hard it was for me. In every sense."

Despite my nerves, I laugh . I was slowly piecing together bits from last night and he was right, he had behaved like a gentleman . I smile as I remember the way he held me as I fell asleep. His arms had felt like the safest place to be.

"I'm sorry if I… I didn't mean to …. I am sorry."

I stop, not knowing the right words to say. I wasn't sure what point I was trying to make.

He places a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"Whatever you are trying to say, forget about it. You have nothing to apologise for. Do you understand? "

His voice is soft and caring.

I look up at him, my heart pounding as I get lost in his beautiful eyes. They were swimming with affection , for me I think. It was so much to take in.

I break apart from him, clambering over him to get off the couch. In my hurry , I don't care that I am only in my underwear, I am just feeling overwhelmed with an urgent sense to run. Like I always do.

My eyes dart around the room in confusion as I look around for the dress I was wearing last night. Blaine studies me, as he stands up , but not daring to come near me. He is treating me like a fragile puppy who is about to bite or something. I try not to stare at his perfect body as he talks.

"You won't find it."

Panic sets in as I realise what he is on about.

"You've taken my dress?"

I stare at him in horror.

He nods guiltily, and I am a little comforted to see that he looks sheepish for having stolen it.

"What the hell Blaine? Give me my clothes back."

He stays where he is , staring at me. His hands rest nervously by his sides.

"No. "

I frown. It's hard to be mad at him when his eyes are a maze of wonder and he is flaunting his perfect body in just his boxers. He looks like a male model.

"No." I repeat softly, as if trying to get my head around the word.

He walks over to me , closing the gap between us. He reaches out to touch me, but backs out . Instead, he continues to just stare at me. I don't feel uncomfortable under his gaze anymore like I would have just before yesterday.

"Rachel, I had to take it. I knew you would do this. You are getting ready to run. "

I open my mouth to try to protest. I want to argue with him, but he is right, I would have been out of the house five minutes ago if my dress had been there.

"You have to stop running from me baby. There is nothing to run from. OK , so I have been a complete and utter jerk, but you have changed me. All I can think about is you. I have never cared about anyone before . It's not all about your feelings . I am confused too. It's all new to me and I am trying my best to handle it. If you run from me, you won't get to see what you have done to me. And I will be left crushed."

I lift my hand, placing it on his cheek softly, his stubble tickling my hand . To say I was a little shocked at his words is an understatement. I was touched. He was right, this must be weird for him as well.

"I won't run."

My voice is barely a whisper as I cup his face with my other hand and pull him towards me.

My lips touch his , gently, lingering just to taste him. He still had the same manly smell as the first night I met him, a mixture of mint and vanilla. I thought it had been his hair gel that night, but as his beautiful hair was flopping down in rich black curls over his forehead with not a hint of gel to be found, it had to be something else.

His strong arms snake around my waist , pulling me into him, our bodies touching as we kiss.

I run my hands from his cheeks down to his neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. He responds eagerly, crushing his soft lips into mine harder. He ever so gently pushes his warm tongue into my mouth , exploring, making sure I was OK with it as he kissed. He had definitely changed.

I smile against his mouth as I start to feel his growing pleasure dig into my waist. Maybe he hadn't changed _that _much. He was still Blaine Anderson after all. It actually put me at ease to know that he still wanted me like that.

He breaks away from me, still keeping a firm grip around my waist, looking down at me smiling.

"Something funny Miss Berry?"

His eyes glitter with amusement as he lightly runs his fingers up and down my back, making me shiver slightly.

I shrug my shoulders, not sure how to reply. I grin up at him.

"I am just glad you still want me , that's all. "

I would have been mortified saying that to him just a few days ago, but I felt so comfortable around him now that I didn't care.

He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear in an intimate gesture.

"I have never wanted anyone so bad. You are beautiful."

To my dismay, he let's go of me, I instantly wanted to pull him back, to feel his body warmth against me again, skin on skin. But he grabs my hand and leads me upstairs. My heart starts pounding wildly at the thought of what was to come, but I wasn't scared. I trusted him. I knew I wouldn't regret it.

We enter his bedroom and I look around in appreciation. He was definitely the cleanest guy I knew, his bedroom was immaculate. Everything in the room had a light green theme to it. But my gaze was fixated only on the huge double bed. He drops my hand, walking over to the bed , sitting down on the edge and staring up at me as I linger by the doorway.

"I just want to make this very clear Rachel, we do not have to do anything you don't want to do. You can get in bed and sleep, I don't care, I just want to be with you. After watching you sleep all last night, I don't care if I have to watch you sleep forever. "

I blush and look down at the floor .

"I don't want to sleep."

I walk over to him, the fluffy green carpet tickling my bare feet as I walk .

I wanted to climb on top of him , lose myself in him and never come up for air, but I wasn't quite brave enough for that. Instead, I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed next to him, waiting for him to say something. I wasn't used to his caring side, but I liked it.

"Do you want to read a book?"

I look up at him, frown lines creasing my face. Did he seriously think I wanted to read when he was sitting there looking so delicious in nothing but his underwear?

He chuckles at my reaction.

"OK, that's a no then. So, what do you want to do baby?"

He clearly wasn't going to make the first move, he was still treating me like a breakable doll, which was great, but not what I wanted right now. I pull him to the centre of the huge bed with me, gently pushing him down so he was flat on his back . I straddle him as he gazes up at me, not caring that he can see everything from his position. I was still in just my underwear , but what did it matter? I wanted him to see everything.

I bend down, giving him a long full kiss on the lips. He returns the kiss, but makes no move to touch me , much to my frustration. I trail light kisses across his jaw line , loving the feel of his stubble against my lips. I nibble his ear , keen to taste every bit of him.

"You can touch me you know." I whisper .

I sit back up and undo my bra in one swift movement , chucking it off the bed. He gasps as he looks me up and down. His breathing accelerates as I resume my task of kissing him again. I kiss his neck, sucking , biting . Judging by the movement in his boxers , I am clearly doing something right.

He moans in pleasure as I move down to his chiselled chest, scattering feather kisses everywhere I can put my lips to.

"Rach… We don't … Uh…. Have to do this"

He interrupts himself with another groan of lust.

I silence him by kissing his lips, more needy, more urgent . This time, it's my tongue probing his, making him realise that I wanted this. I couldn't stop now even if I wanted to.

All of a sudden, I find myself on my back with him on top of me now, his hard cock pressing down on my belly as his heated eyes stared down at me, full of hunger.

I writhe as he mirrors what I have just done to him, showering me with kisses, making me tingle from head to toe. I moan as he grazes my neck, driving me wild with want.

He moves down slowly towards my breasts , cupping them with his hands before resuming his sprinkling kisses, driving me insane. I wanted him badly now, I arched my back, trying to bring myself closer to him. He chuckled lightly against my skin, his hot breath making my nerves stand on end.

"Patience beautiful, all good things come."

I breathlessly finish his sentence for him.

"To those who wait?"

He chuckles again.

"No, Just all good things come. So be good and I will make you come. Hard. "

His eyes sparkle with mischief as he starts his sweet torture of my body all over again. He wasn't joking about making me come, if he carried on with this for much longer, I would be coming from this alone.

My breath caught as he licked my nipple, taking it into his mouth , licking , sucking , to the point where I thought I would explode. Then he repeated the pattern with the other, prolonging my want and need for him.

"Blaine. " I moan in delight, my ragged breathing coming out in bursts.

He looks up at me tenderly.

"We can stop. We don't have to…."

I cut him off by gripping his boxers and pulling them off him. I wanted to rip them off like they do in the movies, I was so hot for him. I was done with the playing now, I wanted the real thing. I am sure I had read somewhere that women liked hours of foreplay, they must be mad. I couldn't stand it anymore, I wanted him now. I struggled to pull my panties down , getting impatient as I tried to kick them off.

He smiled as he watched my growing impatience. I pulled him down so he was laying on top of me, our eyes boring into each other with lust.

"I need this." The words came out in a whispered rush as I arched my hips , letting him know there was no going back now.

"I don't want to pressure you baby. You can back out. " He looked unsure of himself as said the words. He was a changed man .

"I am ready . I want this. "

His gaze lingers on me for just a moment more, trying to determine if I was telling the truth. Couldn't he see I was? I was nearly on the point of tears I wanted him so bad. I had never felt a need quite like it.

He leaned over, grabbing a condom and putting it on, which was a relief for me. I hadn't even thought of that in my heightened state.

I gasped as I felt him tease my opening, pushing with gentle force . He grabs my wrists, pinning them against the bed with his strong hands as he slowly entered me. I tried to edge myself forward , impatient for him to fill all of me. But his weight was pinning me down. I groaned in frustration .

"Go slow baby girl, I don't want to hurt you. Trust me."

I looked up into his soulful eyes as he filled me inch by inch, never breaking eye contact as he impaled me. I felt full to the brim, I didn't know anything could feel this good.

"I do trust you. I am your's now. "

He rewards me with a dazzling smile , then kisses me hungrily on the lips as he slowly starts to thrust in and out of me. I moan with desire , trying to grind my hips into his, trying to make him faster, harder, I knew I wouldn't be able to take much more. He nuzzles my neck as he carefully drives into me harder, making me shout out with each thrust. He releases my hands, allowing me to touch him at last, I run my hands down his chest, around to his back dragging my nails down his skin, making him lose control just like the first night we met.

His groans as he loses his composure takes me to the edge, I clench my muscles around his rock hard cock , clawing at his back, squeezing him against me as he growls, trying to fight what we both know is about to happen. Both of us cry out as we reach a shuddering climax at the same time, gripping on to each other as our bodies tremble together, his huge eyes never leaving mine for a moment as we try to catch our breath.

After a few minutes of trying to calm down, but failing, Blaine speaks.

"Are you OK ? Did I hurt you? "

He rolls off me gently, pulling me round so I am facing him as he cups my face with one hand, making me look at him.

"It was perfect. You were perfect. "

I smile as I kiss his hand.

He grins back at me , clearly accepting my words.

"You know, I usually last longer than that. You broke me. This time, I intend to drive you insane for hours. "

The combination of his sultry tone and the feel of his cock rubbing against me, already half hard, made my belly flutter with desire.

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Oh really? Who says there will be another chance? "

His face falls at my words, his eyes resembling a puppy who had just had their chew toy taken away. I can't help but laugh. He really was gorgeous.

"You wouldn't break my heart like that would you baby?" His eager hands start to roam over my naked body, already making me feel horny again.

"Go on then" I tease him. "One more chance . "

He beams at me as he climbs on top of me once again, kissing me on the lips with longing.

"Thanks beautiful. Oh , and Rachel?"

I run my hands through his curls and gaze up at him questioningly.

"Yes?"

He kisses the tip of my nose before taking a deep breath.

"I just wanted you to know that I am hopelessly in love with you. "


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N . WOW, THANKS FOR THE AMAZING REVIEWS AND THE HUGE WELCOME BACK! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. KEEP READING, THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS WILL TAKE A DIFFERENT TURN, LOTS OF DRAMA TO COME BEFORE THE END. XXXX**

**Chapter 12. **

As I listened to the deep breathing of a fast asleep Blaine cuddled up to my chest, I felt content. To say the day had been amazing is a complete understatement.

When he had told me he was in love with me just a few hours earlier , I was completely floored. So shocked, that he actually had to shake me a bit to get me to respond to him.

"Rachel? Baby? Say something. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. But I am. "

I just stare at him. Stare into his worried eyes as I try to get a grasp on what he has just told me.

He carries on rambling. He is actually starting to sound a bit like me when I get nervous and talk a lot for the sake of it.

"In love with you that is. I really am. I mean, I couldn't figure it out before. But I haven't really been eating. I haven't been sleeping. You have been on my mind constantly. And I just know, I have always known it. I love you Rachel Berry. "

I open my mouth to say something. To reassure him somehow. But no sound comes out. So instead, I just pull him towards me for a kiss, so we can continue where we left off before he dropped that bombshell on me.

To my relief , he doesn't push me to say anything further, he takes the hint and starts another delicious assault on my body. Having only just lost my virginity, I am taken by surprise at how much I wanted this again after only a few minutes.

He was certainly right about usually lasting longer , it was a never-ending heaven, and each time I felt on the edge of coming, he changes pace, determined to prove to me he has staying power. Not that I was complaining of course. For the second time that day, our bodies were completely tuned to each other, we moved as one and came together once again.

About two hours had passed since then, and it had been my turn watching Blaine sleep now. His naked body felt warm and soft against my own, we seemed to fit into each other perfectly. I flush as I remember him telling me how he had been watching me all night as I lay fast asleep in his arms. I certainly didn't make sleep look as cute as he did. His soft black curls were flopping down on to his head, tickling my chest a bit as he lay snuggled in my arms.

He looked younger somehow when he slept. Gone was the cocky guy who claimed he knew everything about everything, he was replaced with a vulnerable , sweet man with real feelings.

I jump as Blaine's doorbell rings, waking him up in the process. He rubs his eyes sleepily, before looking up at me, a grin spreading over his sexy face.

"You didn't run?" His voice is hoarse and deep from being asleep, It made the butterflies in my belly wake up just hearing him talk like that.

"Of course I didn't run." I smile back at him, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. The doorbell sounds again, repeatedly this time. Blaine shrugs his shoulders as I look at him in question.

He climbs out of bed, stretching his muscled arms above his head lazily, not seeming to care that the doorbell is still being pressed. He opens a draw next to his bed, chucking me one of his T-shirts so I can cover myself up, and quickly pulls on his discarded boxers on from earlier , then starts heading down to answer the door.

I throw the shirt on, struggling to catch up with him as he hurries down the stairs.

"Wait." I call out breathlessly. "Aren't you going to put some clothes on?"

He chuckles as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"What for? I'm going to jump in the shower soon. "

I raise my eyebrow .

"So you are answering the door in your boxers?"

"Sure am baby girl." He calls as he opens the front door. I sit on the bottom step, out of view from Blaine's visitor, trying to listen in. Not that I had to try. I instantly knew who it was.

"You think some lousy text is going to reassure me that she's not dead in the gutter somewhere curly? If you have hurt her, I will ends you, is that clear?"

I hear the door slam hard, and Blaine sigh loudly.

"Come in Santana."

He mutters sarcastically. She had clearly barged her way in anyway. I wince as her angry tones start up again.

"I have been worried sick all night. And literally sick . That pizza must have been bad. "

"It wouldn't have anything to do with the alcohol you consumed last night then?"

I giggled to myself at Blaine's question.

"Shut up curly, I am not here to discuss my alcohol consumption with you. Where is she?"

I step out from the stairs, deciding to end Blaine's misery. Santana could be a handful at the best of times, but when she was angry, it was a whole different ball game.

"Calm down Tanny. I am here. I am fine. "

Santana jumps at my voice , then looks me up and down with distaste. I suddenly feel self conscious as I remember I am only wearing Blaine's T-shirt. I smile weakly at her.

"Well well well, You two have finally done the deed. About time. "

I flush bright red . Clearly, Blaine isn't affected by her words as he gives me a huge soppy grin that makes my heart melt.

"N-n-no we didn't. Blaine j-just , well, he let me spend the night here that's all. "

Santana scoffs.

"Right, that's why you are wearing his clothes, he is practically nude and grinning like the cat who got the cream, and you have 'I've just had sex' written all over you. Seriously Rach, the only way you could make it more obvious is if you go shouting it out loud down the streets. "

My already red cheeks go a deeper red. There is no point arguing with a stubborn Santana.

To my horror, Blaine walks over to me, draping his arm around my shoulder, nuzzling my neck, not caring that Tanny is stood there with a look of utter disgust on her face.

"Ew . Lay off curly, I do not want to witness you slobbering all over my best friend. "

At her words I shove Blaine away much to his annoyance and grab her into a huge hug.

"You are my best friend as well. I love you. I'm sorry I worried you. "

She pulls away, her eyes shining with affection.

"It's OK dwarf. Here you go, thought you would need this. "

I take the backpack from her .

"What's this? " I ask in confusion.

"Today's Saturday, you have no work this weekend and no classes until Monday. You have clothes , toothbrushes , hair brushes , all sorts to keep you going. I figured you would want to stay with curls ."

I grin at her as I examine the contents.

"Thanks Tanny. Hey, wait a second. This is really nice of you, but I will have to come home anyway, I have work tonight. "

Disappointment fills me as I remember I picked up an extra shift. I still desperately needed money.

"Afraid not dwarf. I picked it up for you. I will now do three nights, you will do three nights. And don't worry, the money from my shifts will be all yours. "

"What?!" I almost shriek , not sure if I am hearing her right. "You will _not _give me a penny you have worked for. Don't be daft. "

She rolls her eyes at my protests.

"Tough luck Rach. You have been working your ass off since you got here, you are waking at 5am just to try and cram some study time in , I won't let you do it anymore. Nobody can carry on like that forever. I don't need the money as you know, My grandma felt guilty about the whole way she reacted when I came out to her that she is basically pouring money down my throat every week. And, the three days a week I have picked up , Britt has stuff on anyway so I am not missing out any time with her. There is no arguments about this dwarf. I have already spoken to curls Dad who will be transferring any money I earn straight over to you. How else do you think I got this address? I had to find out where you were. I had a feeling you would be with him, but you left in such a hurry that you could have been anywhere. "

Tears spring to my eyes as I drop the bag and hug her again.

"I don't know what to say. "

My voice is almost a whisper I am so touched.

Tanny shrugs me off, she may have come over all soppy, but she wasn't _that_ soppy .

"No worries. Let's get your life back huh?"

I nod, smiling at her. Blaine's voice startles me, I had forgot he was there in all this amazing news.

"It's very decent of you Santana. But, one question. If your grandma is crapping money…. Why are you living in the same building as Rachel? It's a shit hole. "

"Why wouldn't I live there? Someone has to keep an eye on her. I know her better than you curls, don't you think I have wanted to drag her out of there ? She is stubborn to the end, there is no way she would let me rent somewhere for the both of us that I can easily afford, which is why I have come up with this solution for the time being. She has no say in this whatsoever. It has already been sorted . "

"I am still here you know guys. You don't have to talk about me as if I'm not. "

Blaine walks over to me and Tanny near the front door, grabbing me into a hug.

"Sorry baby. "

Santana wrinkles her nose in disgust.

"Oh you guys. Stop drooling over each other. At least wait til I am out of here. "

She opens the front door.

"Wait." Blaine let's go of me as he speaks. "Are you and uh Britt was it?" He looks at me uncertainly. I nod in confirmation. "Are you and Britt doing anything tomorrow night?"

Santana raises her eyebrow, clearly surprised at his question.

"Just the usual. Getting our sweet lady kisses on. Why?"

"Maybe you could both come round ? Spend the night with us or something? Watch a movie, order some takeout, have a few drinks?"

I smile at the idea as I squeeze his hand in thanks.

It takes a while for Tanny to hide her surprise.

"Sure. That would be good. About sevenish?"

Blaine holds the front door open for her and nods.

"Seven sounds fine. And Santana?"

She turns back to face him as she steps out the front door.

"Yes curls ?"

"Be careful at that place tonight? Just… be wary of my Dad and … please, stay away from someone called Brody. Just be careful. "

Confusion sweeps her face. But she nods anyway, gives us both a wave and saunters off down the road.

Blaine shuts the door, and I wrap my arms around his neck, backing up against the front door, kissing him deeply.

He moans with pleasure as I nibble his ear and run my hands down his bare chest.

"Oh god. I have turned you into a sex demon. You are insatiable. "

I kneel down on my knees, gripping the waistband of his boxers and grin up at him evilly.

"Are you complaining Mr Anderson?"

He beams at me, his breathing becoming ragged when he realises what I am about to do.

"Not at all Miss Berry. "

After , in his words, 'the best blow job he's ever had' and plenty of shower sex later, we are sitting on the couch , wrapped in each others arms, watching a movie. OK , not watching a movie, watching each other. I hated to burst our happy bubble, but I had to ask what was on my mind.

"When are you going to tell me about Brody?"

His happy smile instantly changes to a look of anger. His whole body stiffens.

"Never. "

I sigh.

"You can't keep telling me to stay away from him, and warn Tanny about him, and not tell us what we are supposed to be avoiding. "

He let's go of me, standing up in a huff and heading to the kitchen. I follow him , watching as he grabs a glass of water, draining it completely.

"It should be enough to just listen to me. I can't believe after all we have been through the last day or two, you are questioning me on my judgement about Bro… about _him._"

His face is hard as he struggles to even say his name.

I rest my hands on his shoulders , making him look at me, trying to cal him down.

"I am not questioning your judgement baby. I am asking what has happened. I have to work with him after all. "

He shrugs my arms off, walking back into the front room, falling down on to the couch in a mood.

"No, you don't have to work with him. I can't believe I told you about that fucking job. I didn't know he had already turned 21 . "

I sit on the carpet facing him.

"I do have to work there. I need the money . Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

His huge eyes bore into mine, a mixture of anger, sadness and hurt written over his face.

"Don't fucking lecture me Rachel. You took weeks to tell me your Dad's had died, and now you are jumping on me for not telling you stuff? Don't be such a hypocrite. And while we are at it, you haven't told me _why_ you need the money, why you are living in that shithole room you call a home. I am guessing it is something to do with your Dad's , because the old Rachel Berry would never have been seen dead in a place like that. "

Now it was my turn to look hurt.

"Why are you so grumpy with me? It was a question Blaine. It's not my fault you are unable to answer it and turn the blame on me. I haven't done anything wrong. "

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, not looking at me.

"You haven't told me you love me. "

The statement flummoxed me. I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't think I would ever feel happiness again after losing my parents , let alone love.

"What? What has that got to do with anything? "

Now he does look at me, his sorrowful eyes tearing at my heart.

"I'm in love with you. And I have told you that a lot over the last day. It's a huge deal for me, saying something like that. I have never loved anyone before. "

"Neither have I. " I say quietly.

He scoffs.

"You didn't seem to have a problem telling Santana you love her. It's clearly just me you have a problem saying it to. "

I sigh and shake my head. I was definitely regretting bursting our bubble now.

"Don't be ridiculous. You sound needy. Where has the jerk Blaine gone? "

As soon as I say the words , I regret them. I had the most gorgeous man I had ever seen telling me he was in love with me, and I was telling him he was needy. The look of pain on his face made me feel sick. I had really hurt him. I knew it hadn't been easy telling me he loved me. It was Blaine Anderson after all. He didn't do feelings. Except, he did with me. And I had just thrown it all back in his face.

"Baby , I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. "

I stand up, and go over to him on the couch. He turns away from me, not wanting to look at me. Not that I can blame him.

I had screwed up our perfect weekend. The only time I had felt happy in months and I had chucked it all away.

I kiss him gently on the cheek.

"I'm sorry. " I repeat again. "I should go. "

I run up to his room, grabbing the bag Tanny had dropped by, not daring to look at the bed we had already made happy memories on.

I put my shoes on, then head back down, taking one last look at Blaine, who was still slouched on the sofa , looking like the whole world hated him. And it was me that had made him feel like that.

I walk out into the night air, closing the door behind me, a single tear fell down my cheek. I glance back at the house, taking one last look at the house and gasp as the door opens, a heartbroken looking Blaine standing there.

"You said you wouldn't run. "

His voice sounds so sad, that it cuts me like a knife. And I start running. But this time , I run back into his arms, sobbing, gripping on to him as if he will disappear.

"I- , I- think… well, I am pretty sure… I love you. "

He shuts the door behind us, his eyes now glimmering with hope. He tucks my hair behind my ear , then cups my face , kissing me on my head.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it baby. Say it when you are ready. I can wait. "

I look into his eyes, pushing a curl back from his forehead.

"Blaine Anderson. I am in love with you. It scares me. I don't want to get hurt . "

He kisses me deeply on the lips.

"I will never hurt you. "

I smile at his words.

"In that case, I will never stop loving you. "


	13. Chapter 13

**A'N - SORRY AGAIN FOR THE DELAY, IT REALLY IS JUST LIFE GETTING IN THE WAY. FIRSTLY , TO MY REVIEWERS, I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS SO MUCH. AN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS. SECONDLY , TO MY PM, THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT THE DADS/DAD'S THING, I HADN'T EVEN REALISED I HAD BEEN DOING IT! THIRDLY, FOR SOME REASON, NONE OF MY EDITS OR SPELL CHECKS SEEM TO BE WORKING SO I APOLOGISE FOR THE POSSIBLY MANY MISTAKES IN THIS CHAPTER. **

**THIS IS BLAINES POINT OF VIEW. IT IS RECAPPING THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS IN HIS EYES SO IT MAY FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ALREADY READ IT , JUST BEAR WITH IT , THERE IS SOME GREAT STUFF COMING. RECENTLY STARTED ANOTHER JOB WITH MUCH FEWER HOURS SO HOPEFULLY THIS STORY WILL BE COMPLETED WITHIN A FEW WEEKS NOW I HAVE MORE TIME TO GET THE CHAPTERS UP. **

**THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE SUPPORT, IT MEANS THE WORLD XXXXX**

**Chapter 13**

I couldn't help but beam as Rachel Berry stood there, in MY house, looking at every detail. It felt so surreal having her here. I was still shocked that she had agreed to come back to mine. But I tried to remember, she was still drunk from the wine she had guzzled down earlier, so I wouldn't get my hopes up that she really did like me. I didn't dare believe it.

I wanted her to like the house, I wanted to make some kind of an impression on her. It seemed she was impressed , she made some comment about teenage boys being messy and how my house was clean, so I guessed she approved.

I watched as she giggled and swayed . I needed to get her sobered up and fast, she clearly wasn't the type of girl who was used to drinking, if I didn't get some food and water in her soon , she would feel like crap and would probably start puking. But first , I wanted to show her something.

I gasped in complete shock as she asked if I was about to show her my cock and how she would be completely cool with it . Wow, she really was drunk. She even manages to head butt me , I think she was aiming for a kiss but I couldn't be completely certain.

I felt a bit nervous as I led her to my 'library' . I had one room crammed full of every sort of book you could imagine. I hadn't forgot that she loved to read , and I wanted to show her that we at least had something in common. I nearly backed out of showing her , worried it would completely squash my bad guy reputation, but then I realised it didn't matter. Not when I was this close to getting the girl of my dreams.

Her reaction confirmed I had made the right decision in showing her. She was awestruck. I smiled at the wonder in her face. It was amazing what a few books could do.

After we had a discussion about Beauty and the Beast , she basically throws herself at me, It took all my willpower to fight her off and convince her that she needed to eat. I had to admit, I was quite proud of myself , the old Blaine would have fucked her and sent her on her way. But I had changed. Or rather, she had changed me.

I cut her some cake I had made earlier and we headed back into the front room , settling down on the couch. I watched with amusement as she took a huge bite of the cake, crumbs falling down her dress. God, I would have given anything at that moment to lick every single piece of cake from her body, but I held it together. I distracted myself by grabbing her a jug of water and running upstairs to get a blanket and pillows.

I gulped as she slowly took her dress off, stripping down to just her underwear. I don't think she had any clue that she was driving me insane. She was so sexy and she just didn't seem to realise. Or maybe she did. Maybe a drunken Rachel Berry was a tease. She climbed on to the couch, diving under the blanket and patting the space beside her. I didn't need telling twice.

I stripped down to my boxers , grinning as she drunkenly wolf whistled at me. It was still weird receiving compliments from Rachel , so I would take any, whether they were drunken ones or not, they made me smile.

I delved into the blanket with her , grabbing her into a hug, smiling as she cuddles up to my chest. It felt peaceful like this. It felt so right.

I tried to keep it together as she started stroking my chest. I was already too wired up from her earlier attempts to seduce me, I couldn't handle even the slightest touch at the moment.

I placed my hand over hers, stopping the movement.

"No funny business Miss Berry . "

She sighed , but snuggled up to me closer, her whole body relaxing next to mine. I felt happy that she could be this way with me.

"You have been begging me for funny business since the day we met. And now you don't want it? "

I laughed at her words, she had a fair point!

"Not tonight no. Not with you like this. I … I care about you now Rachel. Before , it wouldn't have mattered if you were drunk and we slept together, because I would have never spoken to you again. I'd have gotten what I wanted. But now…. Well, now I want more. And there is no way in hell I would try anything on with you while you are intoxicated with alcohol. I have morals you know! "

I couldn't stop the words tumbling out of my mouth. I meant every single one.

"I'm a different person with you. You make me want to be a better person. "

The words shocked both of us. I had finally said them out loud, and she seemed to accept what I was saying as the truth.

"Thanks for tonight Blaine. I feel …. I feel really secure with you right now. "

I kiss the top of her head, my heart was thudding wildly at being so close to her. Her words filled me with joy, but then I remembered , she couldn't feel that safe around me if it had taken her so long to tell me about her parents.

"Good. I always want you to feel like that around me baby . You have been through so much. I still can't believe I didn't know. Why didn't you fucking tell me Rachel.?"

I regretted the words as soon as I had said them, things were going so well, I didn't want to make her feel bad.

To my horror , she started crying. Pain seared through me as I felt a tear fall onto my chest. I had caused this fresh upset. It was my fault. I slid down into the blanket, facing her, looking into her eyes, trying to make her see that I didn't mean it. I wiped away a tear from her beautiful face and told her that when she was ready to talk about it, I would be here for her.

I convinced her to get some sleep, she looked so worn out, like she hadn't slept for months. Which she probably hadn't. She hadn't had a single person to rely on lately, and now Santana was back in her life, I would make sure I would be here for her too. Her dark eyes started to droop, her thick eyelashes fluttering as she tried to fight off sleep a bit longer.

I kissed her , hugging her tighter.

"I'm here" I whispered as she finally drifted off.

I spent hours watching her sleep. I probably could have spent forever doing it, which was a good thing because boy, can she sleep. I was nearly at the point of giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation to see if she would wake. When she did eventually wake up, my heart sinks to see that she looks horrified and even a little scared. I had thought she may act like this, which is why at about two in the morning I found myself hiding her clothes. Pathetic I know, But I couldn't let her run without her seeing that we really did have a chance.

"Rachel, nothing happened between us if that is what you are worried about. "

I had to make her see she had nothing to fear. I hugged her, not wanting her to completely freak out on me.

I tried to lighten the tone.

"Although I must admit, It was nice having you try and shag my brains out for once."

OK , so maybe joking about it was the wrong thing to do, she completely tensed up in my arms. It was time to reassure her again.

"But I was the perfect gent and had to turn you down. I hope you appreciate how hard it was for me. In every sense."

To my relief , she starts laughing.

"I'm sorry if I… I didn't mean to …. I am sorry."

She stumbles on her words, choking to get them out. I kiss her, telling her she had nothing to be sorry for. Last night had been perfect , just having her close to me.

Her beautiful eyes look up at me, the hurt in them causing a pain to shoot through me.

Before I could stop her, she had climbed over me, looking round the room for her clothes. Why did she always do shit like this, didn't she know how much I was trying here?

I watch her, disappointment flooding through me. I hated the fact she always wanted to run when she was with me.

"You won't find it."

I say calmly, trying to ignore my thudding heart. I felt panicky at the thought of her leaving. I couldn't let her go, not when I was this close to breaking down some of those walls she had built up around herself.

She stares at me, anger written all over her beautiful face.

"You've taken my dress?" She sounds horrified.

I nod. I felt a little guilty, I hated seeing her upset, but I hated her running even more.

When she asks me to give them back, I simply tell her no. I walk over to the middle of the room where she is standing, She looked gorgeous in nothing but her underwear, her hair all tousled from sleep, a look of anguish on her face.

"You have to stop running from me baby. There is nothing to run from. OK , so I have been a complete and utter jerk, but you have changed me. All I can think about is you. I have never cared about anyone before . It's not all about your feelings . I am confused too. It's all new to me and I am trying my best to handle it. If you run from me, you won't get to see what you have done to me. And I will be left crushed."

I had meant every word, but I also wanted to kick myself for revealing too much. I couldn't seem to stop the words tumbling out of my mouth. It scared me, the fact that she could open me up without even trying. But it seemed like my words had worked as she reached for me, her brown eyes looking deep into my soul.

"I won't run." Her voice is barely a whisper.

This time, she kisses me. As soon as her lips touched mine, I felt elated. I wrap my arms around her waist , pulling her close to me.

Her kiss deepens, making me dizzy . For a girl who didn't have much experience when it came to stuff like this, she sure knew how to drive a man wild. Her touch was like a sweet torture across my body, and she hadn't even done anything yet.

I grab her hand , leading her upstairs to my bedroom. I had worried it would be the wrong thing to do, and I wanted to make sure she knew that I didn't expect her to do anything. And I meant it. I would have been quite content to watch her do nothing forever.

I sit down on my bed, I felt anxiety building up inside me at the thought of me pushing her too hard, making her run again. I couldn't let it happen. I desperately wanted to touch her as she sat down beside me , instead I asked her if she wanted to read a book. She laughed , then pushed me back to the centre of the bed , climbing on top of me with a sexy as hell look in her eyes.

She kisses me hungrily , she seemed to want this as much as I did. But I couldn't bring myself to touch her, I had a flashback of the first night we met, when I had my hands all over her body and told her that I wanted her, she clammed up . Then she ran. It was killing me not to touch her , but I had to show restraint. She had been through so much. Besides, I was enjoying her making the moves on me for a change. I could get used to this.

She drives me wild as her soft lips scatter me in kisses.

"You can touch me you know."

Her voice is a whisper again, she looks nervous, but she sits up straight , undoing her bra and letting it fall to the bed while never breaking eye contact with me.

I gulp as I stare at her. She had no idea of how beautiful she was. My eyes lingered on her breasts for just a few seconds , I could have stared at them all day but she had started driving me insane again as she kissed, licked and nibbled every bit of me.

I can't take much more.

"Rach… We don't … Uh…. Have to do this"

I moan with pleasure as she takes no notice, she just kisses me more urgently this time. In one swift movement I turn her so she is underneath me . I need to make up for not touching her . My cock throbs as I kiss her soft skin, she smells of something sweet, strawberries or something fruity like that.

As much as I wanted her, I didn't think I would ever get tired of this, seeing Rachel underneath me, moaning with pleasure at _my_ kisses and _my_ touch, seeing her breathless as I slowly worked my way down her delicious body.

I move down slowly towards her breasts , cupping them with my hands , savouring every moment of something I thought would never happen. I know I had talked the talk about how I would someday get her into bed, but after her constant rejections, I had started to accept it would never happen. And now here we were. And I was falling for her deeper as every kiss , touch and second went by.

Her breathing sped up as I licked her nipple, taking it into my mouth , licking , sucking , not wanting this to ever end. I explored every inch of her soft skin with my mouth, my hands roaming over her body .

"Blaine." She called out my name , breathless.

I looked down at her, worried we have went too far, scared that if she wanted me to stop this right now, it would break me. I try to tell her it's OK, that we can stop this if she wants.

"We can stop. We don't have to…."

I gasp as she tugs my boxers off roughly, eager to finish what we had started. She groaned with frustration as she tried to take her panties off, she was impatient. She wanted this as much as I did.

"I need this."

Her words startled me, she sounded how I felt.

I had to make sure before we got to the point of no return.

"I don't want to pressure you baby. You can back out. "

My stomach hurt at the thought of her backing out now, but I had to give her the option, I couldn't risk hurting her, not when we had come this far.

"I am ready . I want this. " Her huge brown eyes stare up at me, she looked close to tears, but happy tears. I knew she meant it.

I grabbed her wrists, pinning her down beneath me. I wanted her to know that I would keep her safe throughout all of this. That she was mine now. I felt ready to explode as I gently pushed into her, needing to take this slow.

She had other ideas as she tried to slide down onto me, making me glad I had pinned her down so she didn't hurt herself . I knew this was her first time and I couldn't screw it up.

"Go slow baby girl, I don't want to hurt you. Trust me."

I looked deep into her eyes as I slowly entered her, inch by inch.

"I do trust you. I am yours now. "

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face at her words. I didn't realise it until only recently, but they were the words I had been waiting to hear from Rachel Berry forever. Without even knowing it, I had been waiting for her.

We take it slow at first, until our bodies can't take much more. We are in sync as we cry out together, both of us gasping for breath as we come down from our dizzy heights of passion.

I had never experienced anything like that. It was incredible. She had definitely cast her spell over me and there was no way of breaking it.

"Are you OK ? Did I hurt you?"

"It was perfect. You were perfect."

I grin again, this feeling of happiness was completely new to me, but I was determined to hold on to it.

We chat and joke for a bit before we are both ready to get lost into each other again.

I climb on top of her again, looking at her in wonder as she runs her hands through my curls. I was too shy to tell her this, but I loved it when she touched my hair like that. It felt intimate. Like we were connected.

I kiss her on her nose , before taking a deep breath. If I didn't say it now, I never would.

"I just wanted you to know that I am hopelessly in love with you. "

I can see straight away that this has shocked her. She is silent as she looks up at me awestruck.

"Rachel? Baby? Say something. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. But I am. In love with you that is. I really am. I mean, I couldn't figure it out before. But I haven't really been eating. I haven't been sleeping. You have been on my mind constantly. And I just know, I have always known it. I love you Rachel Berry. "

I knew that I was rambling , but I couldn't help it.

After a while , she pulls me to her, bringing me in for another kiss. I am so relieved that she didn't close up on me after I told her I loved her, and so hot for her, that I ignored the fact she hadn't said it back. I put it to the back of my mind. Besides, who could really blame her? I had been a jerk to her , and didn't know she was going through hell, it had taken weeks to get her to even like me , let alone love me.

After an hour or two of the best sex I have ever had, I fall asleep in her arms, exhausted from all that had happened. This was also new to me, I had shagged plenty of girls, but I had never slept with them.

I woke up to the doorbell frantically ringing. Turns out it was Rachel's mouthy friend from Glee club, Santana. She had tracked down the house from going to Lacy Lola's , my Dad's club where Rachel had been cleaning for the last few weeks. I had been annoyed at first because of the interruption , but as I listened to her explaining how she would be taking on three of the club shifts every week and giving the money she earned to Rachel, my annoyance disappeared. This girl was a true friend. And I was touched that she had done something so amazing . Everybody needed a friend like Santana, no matter how mouthy she was.

I found myself inviting her and her girlfriend over to the house tomorrow night so we could all hang out together. Surprisingly, she said yes , and even more surprisingly, I found myself looking forward to it.

After Santana left , Rachel and I done some more 'getting to know each other' , then we stuck a movie on and sat on the couch. Everything had been perfect. Then Rachel brought up Brody. Why the fuck she had to ruin our perfect weekend together , I don't know. I didn't want to talk about him. I didn't want to think about him.

We yelled at each other for a while , I wasn't about to tell her everything that had happened between that scumbag and me. She got frustrated , I got frustrated and let her know I was hurt when she didn't tell me she loved me. She called me needy. It stung , I had opened up so much of my soul to her, it was a low blow to be called needy . I was Blaine Anderson, I didn't do love and emotions. She knew she had ruined our time together, she said she was going and ran upstairs to get her things.

I was determined to let her go. It was clearly what she wanted. She already thought I was needy , I wasn't going to prove her right. Except, when I heard her go out the door, my heart couldn't take it. I couldn't let her go. I ran to the door , hoping she would listen, hoping she would come back, I didn't care about our argument and there was no way in hell I would let Brody drive a wedge between us.

She was at the bottom of the pathway, and had turned back to look at the house. She looked shocked as I stood there, probably looking as miserable as she did.

"You said you wouldn't run."

My voice sounded shaky . I didn't feel like me. Rachel had changed my world. To my relief , she runs back to me, flinging herself into my arms. I cling on to her, soothing her while she cries softly.

"I- , I- think… well, I am pretty sure… I love you. "

Her words send ripples of happiness through me. Did she mean it? Hope started piercing every piece of my soul , did I dare to believe that I had won her heart?

I tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear so I can see her beautiful face better.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it baby. Say it when you are ready. I can wait. "

And I realised I could. And I would wait for her forever.

"Blaine Anderson. I am in love with you. It scares me. I don't want to get hurt . "

"I will never hurt you. "

She smiles at my words.

"In that case, I will never stop loving you. "

I felt like the luckiest man alive as the weekend went on. Rachel and I spoke for hours, never breaking contact with each other in case we burst our little bubble we had created. Santana and Britt came like they said they would , and we laughed for hours. They were great fun, turns out Santana is actually great, with a wicked sense of humour. Rachel's eyes shone as she looked proudly at her friends. She had told me the heartbreak at not only losing her parents , but avoiding all of her friends until she had no-one left in her life. It made me ache listening to her pain. But I would be here for her from now on.

Monday morning rolled around way too quick, I walked Rachel back to her shitty room at about 6 in the morning so she could get her stuff together for the day ahead at NYADA. I felt better knowing Santana was now keeping an eye on her .

I wasn't concentrating as I walked back to my house , The grin on my face was insane as I thought about everything we had shared the last couple of days. I had only been away from her for ten minutes and I already missed her desperately.

As I rounded the corner to my house , I bumped into someone who had been standing there. It must have been my fault, my mind was stuck in dream world.

"Sorry."

I look up as I apologise, my blood turning cold at who was stood before me.

"You should watch where you are going little bro."

I scowl at him, walking in the direction of my house.

"Don't fucking call me that. What are you doing here Brody?"

Brody matches my pace , smiling at my anger.

"I came to see you of course. We need to talk. "

I raise my eyebrow at him as I go to turn my key in the lock.

"You can piss off. I have nothing to say to you. "

Just as I am about to go inside and shut the door on him, he makes my blood run cold for the second time.

"I have plenty to say to you. But why don't we start with Rachel?"

The fact he even said her name makes me want to punch his lights out. He had no right to speak her name.

Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do , I held the door open , indicating he should come in. I didn't want to make a scene on the street.

"Make this quick Brody. What about Rachel?" I glare as I shut the door behind him.

He smirks at me, satisfaction written all over his face. He knew he had my attention now.

"I have seen you walking her to and from the club every night. And I saw you two leave here this morning, looking like loves young dream. You've got it bad little bro. "

"Call me bro again, and I will knock you out. What the fuck is your point?"

Brody's smirk just gets bigger. I was clenching and unclenching my fist , ready to strike out at any moment.

"You need to end it with her."

I shake my head , as if trying to clear what he just said.

"Excuse me?"

He walks closer to me. His eyes were now flooded with anger , we probably mirrored each others expressions.

"You heard me. End it with her ."

"Why ? What's it to you?"

Brody laughs , but the laughter doesn't meet his eyes. A cold chill runs down my spine as I listen to the calculated laugh.

"Because you are the biggest piece of shit I have ever come across in my life. And you don't deserve one bit of happiness. You are scum Blaine Anderson. I will never forget what you have done to me. And you are going to have to pay. I have been waiting for the day you finally cared about something. Or someone. "

I rolled my eyes. I had heard this speech many times before . It was different this time of course, because of Rachel. But I was not going to be intimidated by Brody anymore. I had done nothing wrong. There was no fucking way I would be breaking up with Rachel.

I squared up to my step brother, hate radiating off my body.

"You are scum Brody, not me. And one day, I will make sure you burn in hell for what you did."

Brody steps back, reaching for the door. I breathe a sigh of relief , he had obviously got the message that I wasn't going to take his bullshit anymore.

As he opens the door, he turns back to look at me.

"I mean it . Break up with her."

This time, I smirk at him. He couldn't scare me anymore.

" And if I don't?"

That cold smirk spreads across his face once more.

"If you don't , I will kill her. And you and I both know, I have a talent for getting away with murder. "

I stare at the door in horror as he walks out , slamming it behind him. I knew he meant every word. Because he had killed my mother and sister . And if I didn't end it with Rachel, he would kill her too.


End file.
